Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Fifty Weight Units Of Measure"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty Weight Units Of Measure"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

The system used worldwide for weighted measury,
Has answers so easy cause they're done so metrically.
Would someone help me as I juggle gravity.
There must be fifty weight units of measure.

You know you weigh less without clothes like when you're nude,
You weigh more after you have consumed mass quantities of food,
You can defeat yourself whenever metric measure's used,
There must be fifty weight units of measure.
Fifty weight units of measure.

Just chip off a stone, Joan.
Measure a grain, Wayne.
Get your ounces in troy, Roy.
Just get weighed and see
Purchase a gram, Sam.
It's a lot like a dram, Pam.
Just bring in a key, Lee.
It weighs what you see.
Just chip off a stone, Joan.
Measure a grain, Wayne.
Get your ounces in troy, Roy.
Just get weighed and see
Purchase a gram, Sam.
It's a lot like a dram, Pam.
Just bring in a key, Lee.
It weighs what you see.

You know that metric's used in Canada and Spain,
I wish there was some way to figure out kilos of cocaine,
I just can't associate that, would someone please explain,
About the fifty ways.

It's all these weights and measures give me such a freight,
And why aren't light years used when you want to weigh something that's light?
So please assist me as I analyze all this weight and height,
There must be fifty weight units of measure.
Fifty weight units of measure.

Just chip off a stone, Joan.
Measure a grain, Wayne.
Get your ounces in troy, Roy.
Just get weighed and see
Purchase a gram, Sam.
It's a lot like a dram, Pam.
Just bring in a key, Lee.
It weighs what you see.
Just chip off a stone, Joan.
Measure a grain, Wayne.
Get your ounces in troy, Roy.
Just get weighed and see
Purchase a gram, Sam.
It's a lot like a dram, Pam.
Just bring in a key, Lee.
It weighs what you see.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, 5's!
mac - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Heavy!
Melhi - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
"Weigh" to set the standard, Guy. ;)
Adagio - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Guy! Flows well. 5's
Johnny D - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I'll just pretend I'm Q and change the gravitational constant of the Universe to 555 m/sec/sec.
Birgitta - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
This is great Guy! Very nice.
Meriadoc - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Let's see, 16 ounces in a pound - no 20 shillings in a pound, oops wrong measure - what divides by 5?
alvin rhodes - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
i like it.....good pacing and funny...5...5...5
Diva - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
What an imagination! Great work!
Paul Wooten - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy, you must NEVER sleep! Just 1 great one after another.We need to shoot the basturd who gave this 1's. 555
Guy - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
One's tell me that I did something right. Thanks, one's guy!
Peregrin - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
fantastic!
Jan Unwin - February 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Weigh to go! 5-5-5
Michael Pacholek - February 26, 2004 - Report this comment
1.8, 1.8, 1.8. Actually, that's pretty good. You see, converting from metric, that's 5, 5, 5.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/paulsimon46.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1068