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Song Parodies -> "50 Ways to Lose That Mustache"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"50 Ways to Lose That Mustache"

Parody Written by:

Jan Unwin

The Lyrics

True story
When I went to lunch today my best friend said to me
Her boss is quite good looking but for one anomaly
I'm sure he sees it as a sign of his virility
There must be 50 ways to lose that mustache

She said it's really not my habit to intrude
But the way his 'stach crawls up his nose is really rather rude
And then there is way it seems to collect all his food
There must be 50 ways to lose that mustache
50 ways to lose that mustache

Just get out the Nair, Jer
Cut off your lip, Chip
Don't need all that fuzz, Buzz
Please listen to me
What's all the fuss, Gus
Epilady won't hurt much
Just drag out the Schick, Dick
You'll be a hot-tie

Ooo give it a trim, Tim
Get a weedeater, Peter
Still know you're a boy, Roy
Just listen to me
Give it a pluck, Chuck
It's a bit overmuch, Dutch
Don't be such a slob, Bob
And forget the goatee

She said it grieves me so to see that on his face
It's odd how such a little thing could take up so much space
The way it cascades down his lip is such a big disgrace
Must be 50 ways

She said since he is my boss I won't say it outright
But a mustache is a privilege, it's not like it's a right
Maybe if you write a song I'll point him to this site
There must be 50 ways to lose that mustache
50 ways to lose that mustache

Just get out the Nair, Jer
Cut off your lip, Chip
Don't need all that fuzz, Buzz
Please listen to me
What's all the fuss, Gus
Epilady won't hurt much
Just drag out the Schick, Dick
You'll be a hot-tie

Ooo give it a trim, Tim
Get a weedeater, Peter
Still know you're a boy, Roy
Just listen to me
Give it a pluck, Chuck
It's a bit overmuch, Dutch
Don't be such a slob, Bob
And forget the goatee

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Peregrin - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Top drawer top lip humor Jan!
Adagio - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job.
Johnny D - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
5's ! Reminds me of a "Seinfeld" episode when Jerry didn't want to get into group sex because he felt like he'd have to grow a mustache and then be known as "Orgy Man".
Johnny D - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Ooops, not exactly - Jerry doesn't say he'd be "orgy man" but he does kvetch on and on about all the weird things he'd have to do, and growing a mustache is among them! Here's the script...

http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSwitch.htm
Meriadoc - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
The Epilady reference was especially funny!
Guy - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Could you just see Bunny Swan from Mad TV saying "He look a like a man, with a shave-a mustache", giving a description to the cops on a perp? Nice parody, Jan. Some clever lines.
Claude Prez - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Very funny stuff but in the future I'm gonna have to ask you to refrain from using words like "Peter" and "weedeater" in the same sentence. Also, "Schick" and "Dick". I thank you in advance for your cooperation.
Jan Unwin - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Any objections to "Rod" and "Claude"?
Claude Prez - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
That's fine, as long as there's no "sawed" in there.
Claude Prez - January 18, 2004 - Report this comment
The broad was awed by the rawd of Claude and said oh my gawd and began to applaud. Then his wife woke him up saying "Lawd, you snawed"
Jan Unwin - January 19, 2004 - Report this comment
At least she didn't say your bawd is flawed and somewhat awed.
Phil Ness - April 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Anything to do with a mustache is fantastic!! It is a great parody. One of the best I've seen.

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