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Song Parodies -> "Fifty Ways to P*ss off PETA"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty Ways to P*ss off PETA"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

"The problem is all a lack of lead," I said to she
A stance it is needed for to keep my weaponry
Go eat some kelp or just go huggle up a tree
There must be fifty ways to p*ss off PETA

I said I really don't consider soy a food
As for fur, a God conserving'd not have made us in the nude
Said I eat meat for health and she briskly came unglued
There must be fifty ways to p*ss off PETA
Fifty ways to p*ss off PETA

Have sea otter snacks, Max
Bake a Babe ham, Sam
Make a spotted owl pie, Guy
It's very tasty
Dolphin's a must, Gus
There's no need to cuss such!
Serve chopped manatee, Lee
It's calorie free

Oh, skin a few mink, Mick
Club a small seal, Neil
Now don't have a cow, Sal
'Cus it's leatheretty
Harpoon a whale, Dale
You don't need a rare snail trail!
Just buy ivory, Dee
On the black markety

She said it grieves me so to think those quaggas slain
I wish there was something I could do to make dodos live again
I said "Don't appreciate cats, so would you please restrain
away your shifty strays?"

She said Bonsai kitten folks just keep me in a fright
And I'm relieved that with warnings our petitions set them right
Tried to enlist me, and I realized she was some brain cells light
There must be fifty ways to p*ss off PETA
Fifty ways to p*ss off PETA

Sew a guinea pig stole, Joel
Catch a big shark, Clark
Drink a treefrog milkshake, Jake
Let Ted Nugent be
Oh you shop for fur muffs, Duff
Those chinchillas don't cost much
It's her annivers'ry, see
It's very styley

Eat condor eggs fried, Clyde
Make a roo rug, Doug
You catch lots of rare fish, Trish
Set none of them free
Stun a raccoon, June
Well all under a full moon
Fur's very pricey, see
But nice and cuddly......

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 2
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   15
 14
 14
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Steve Kalafut - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
So y'all love animals because they're delicious? Some interesting delicacies in there. When lions and tigers and bears, oh my, Stop eating meat, so will I.
Melhi - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Save the animals (in the freezer, where they'll keep longer!) Ahh... It's good to be at the top of the food chain. This is another one that makes me wish the original was longer and is sure to have me coming up with addendums and side-bars, all day. Funny stuff!
Johnny D - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
ROFLMfurryAO !!

Wow, so many great lines! "I said “Don’t appreciate cats, so would you please restrain away your shifty strays?” LOL !!

You two have been posting so many great parodies recently, I love it !! Why such a long hiatus? Have you been working on all of the recent submissions for months and saving them all up to submit now? I hope to see you keep submitting at the rate you are - your stuff is among the absolute best on this site. :-D
Ethan Mawyer - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
i liked this one... is this the eating a sea otter song you mentioned on my shooting a sea cow song?
Claude Prez - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Reminds me of that Simpsons episode with a "Kentucky Fried Panda" in it ("Finger Ling-Ling Good!") Outstanding.
Olvan The Terrible - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Bravo! The meter and rhymes are flawless and so is the message. I am unapologetic about my un-PC diet. My rationale: If God did not want us to eat animals, then why did He make them out of meat?
Jessica - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
This made me laugh for the first time today. :-) All 5's.
Arwen - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Fabulous...I love it! 5s!
Billy Florio - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I love you guys..uh, girls..uh, um, ah, Im not getting into this again.....great great job!
Jack Wilson - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Mer and Pips!!!!!!
Meriadoc - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks so much everyone! We were hoping this might be a hit! :-)
Johnny, the hiatus was kind of my fault - I was in this haze of apathy and my creativity was just temporarily dried up... :-P
Ethan: No, that was a different song, but we might still submit it eventually.
Good to see you Jess!
Peregrin - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I beg to differ! It was ALL your fault Merrry! Heh heh heh....
CeramicsFanatic - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Hilarious! ;-)
The Great Karlando - January 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh man, you 2 really outdid yourself this time. Anything anti-PETA is worthy of stright 5's in my book. Of course, we all know what PETA really stands for right? People Eating Tasty Animals!
Jan Unwin - January 15, 2004 - Report this comment
This meats all my expectations of a good parody. Fives!
mandamoo - January 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Heehee ! Did you know that you can buy purses here made out of Kangaroo scrotum ! Ooops, can I say that ??? This is a classic ! What more can I say ?!!!
Peregrin - January 15, 2004 - Report this comment
That's disgusting! Why would you want one? Thanks for the other comment though ha ha!
Laurence Dunne - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Absolutely brilliant idea!
Phil Alexander - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, M&P - do you think you could do a parody to a tune I know, now, please?
Michael Pacholek - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Now you're cookin' with gas!
Peregrin - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Give us one to work with Phil! Happy too! So long as it's not Iron Maiden!
Guy - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Glad to see you two are not letting your meat loaf. Great parody about one of the most hare brained groups on the entire planet. Glad to see this is a hit and I will boost it one more notch.
Meriadoc - January 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks again everyone! And looks like a PETA fan finally got to us! ;-D
Leah Lockhart - January 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Love it....hate it... love it! I support PETA and despise every line yet it made me laugh... that's when you know you've done a good job. ;-)
Meriadoc - January 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Leah, thank you! I really appreciate your comments! I think how a subject is presented is the important thing - I have read parodies opposing political figures that I support, and have still been able to laugh at them. And incidentally, while I am not in the least a PETA supporter, I am against the use of animals for fur, am annoyed by Ted Nugent, and I love cats... :-D
Mari D - January 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Way #56: Perform this parody, accompanied by the man with the armadillo guitar (yes, there is such an instrument, but it is illegal now to craft any new ones).
John Harvey - January 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't think anyone likes PETA...
Peregrin - January 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Read up 3 comments John!
2nz - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I still haven't voted or commented on this? Well "See my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest. See these loafers, former goofers, it was that made them fit best. See this hat, twas my cat. My evening where is vampire bat..." I could quote Simpsons all day, but 5's for the originality, and the pacing, and the funny.
Phil Alexander - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I came to this one late: I still don't know the original (believe it or not), but recently heard Ray Stevens' "50 ways to get Bin Ladin". This one's better, though :-)
Rick D - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
There are no organizations more radical than PETA. Robin Williams says whenever he takes his shirt off, PETA throws paint at him.
Melhi - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) *see comment above* It's still good to be top o the food chain and I'm still loving this parody!
Johnny D - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Another MEATY contender!
Agrimorfee - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
JSOTM--Vey Ogden Nash-esque...with a message. Interesting. 555
Spaff.com - August 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I could swear I praised you for the "shifty strays" line months ago. Honestly. I must be confusing myself with Johnny D. (That happens frequently.) I'd better eat some more baby seals - they're brain food, you know. Anyhoo - many great rhymes here. Excellent work.
Johnny D - August 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Mighty Spaff.com, I take your confusion as the highest of parody-writing compliments. Thank you!

Johnny Dickhead ;-)
Mari D - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
JSOTM: In revisiting this meat market, I find this parody tastes better the second time. Great job!
Adagio - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) :D 5's
Claude Prez - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Even better this time around; seconds on the spotted owl pie, please.
Jeff Reuben - August 31, 2004 - Report this comment
sotm--A real PITA to PETA!
2nz - August 31, 2004 - Report this comment
I found it better the second time around as well. Still a funny and delicious meal.
Person 1: "Don't eat the tuna"
Person 2: "Why?"
Person 1: "Because Dolphins are getting stuck in the the net"
Person 2: "Well... what about the tuna?"
Person 1: "Oh, screw them, they taste good."
-Dennis Leary
Red Ant - January 25, 2007 - Report this comment
I was going through Dave's recordings page on Soundclick and found this parody. Very funny work, M&P, and a fine recording too. Maddox has T-shirts availablke that say "For every animal you save I'm going to eat three". 555. Check out my "Eat A Burger For PETA!" if you get the chance.
chrysanthemum - July 12, 2008 - Report this comment
hey, i don't blame u for this, i mean really, PETA is a whole bunch of hypocrites, i mean really, between the years of 1998 and 2007, in peta headquarters, more then 89% of adoptable animals were killed by incineration, and another 0.5% killed by poison injection, and 0.5% thown into a dumpster. PETA has a walk-in freezer to store the dead bodies, and contracts with a Virginia Beach company to cremate them. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, yeah right, that walk-in freezer in SO un-ethical

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