Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Fifty Ways to Know He's Cheating"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty Ways to Know He's Cheating"

Parody Written by:

Royce Miller

The Lyrics

taken from an article I read in "Dear Abby"
The problem's all inside your mind, he says to her
You know that you're the only woman I prefer
But she knows very well there's something foul astir
Cause there are 50 ways to tell he's cheating

He's leaving in the morning, smells like Irish Spring
(That ain't the signal that he's having him a fling)
But he comes home smelling of Speed Stick, and no ring
And those are just 2 ways to tell he's cheating
Just two ways to tell he's cheating

Now don't you be lame, Jane
Just look for his plan, Ann
He's got a new toy, Joy
Just listen to me
Go follow the clues, Sue
If you think he ain't true
Your gut is your key, Lee
He wants to be free

All of a sudden he is getting salon tans
he's lookin golden, like a muffin made from bran
And he is so well-groomed, right down to his two hands
yes, there are fifty ways to tell he's cheating

If you get lots of hang-ups on your telephone
And you are finding that you're always left alone
And if you're feeling like a dog without a bone
Well there are fifty ways to tell he's cheating

Now don't you be lame, Jane
Just look for his plan, Jan
He's got a new toy, Joy
Just listen to me
Go follow the clues, Sue
If you think he ain't true
Your gut is your key, Lee
He wants to be free

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   4
 3
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Frank Lee Deargirl - January 09, 2004 - Report this comment
How very true; "behind every successufl man is a woman, behind her is his wife!" (G.Marx)
Melhi - January 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Royce!
Guy - January 09, 2004 - Report this comment
What's the sequel? Fifty ways to pay alimony? Nie job Royce.
Melhi - January 09, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL Guy! You know, it could go the other way: Fifty Ways to Hide Their Bodies.
Johnny D - January 09, 2004 - Report this comment
"muffin made from bran" ... "dog without a bone" ... LOL !! 5's
Laurence Dunne - January 09, 2004 - Report this comment
5-5-5 for originality. Hmm, I wonder how a man can tell if his wife is cheating?
Melhi - January 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny: Professionally arranged fresh flowers start adorning the house, boxes of assorted chocolates show up in the cupboard and you don't remember seeing that diamond tennis bracelet, before. *gg*
Royce Miller - January 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Melhi: This is what I love about the parodies--the conversations that arise from them are sometimes ever more interesting than the parody itself...and funnier
Melhi - January 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Royce, I don't know that this can be beat in the humor department... but I'm with you. I love when a parody is so funny and well written it conjurs up images that inspire even more humor... and this one has kept coming back to mind and making me giggle, all day. This morning, when I first read this, the comment in my head was that I wished the original song was a few verses longer so that I could read more of it. Great work, as always, Royce! :)
Jan Unwin - January 09, 2004 - Report this comment
I have no choice, Royce It's fives for you.
Peregrin - January 10, 2004 - Report this comment
3 ways to give Royce 5's

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/paulsimon34.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1323