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Song Parodies -> "Fifty Ways To Pay For Christmas"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Pay For Christmas"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

The tree is brittle, dry and dead she said to me,
So please take it down and put it out its misery.
To pay these bills we'll have to juggle our money,
There must be fifty ways to pay for Christmas.

Creditors calling it's their habit to be rude,
The Christmas feasts were wonderful and enhanced the Christmas mood,
But now for the next three months the cuisine is canned food.
There must be fifty ways to pay for Christmas.
Fifty ways to pay for Christmas.

Get back in the black, Jack,
Don't sit on your can, Stan,
Get another employ, Roy,
Just go get some money.
Won't help to cuss, Gus,
Some cash a big plus, Dutch,
Go on pay the fee, Lee,
Some home equity.

Ohhh, get back in the black, Jack,
Don't sit on your can, Stan,
Get another employ, Roy,
Just go get some money.
Won't help to cuss, Gus,
Some cash a big plus, Dutch,
Go on pay the fee, Lee,
Some home equity.

Said she believes that the spending gets insane,
Party hardy New Years eve with all that overpriced champagne,
So then I said, "I'd drink to that", she thought my joke was lame.
"Knock off the dumb cliches".

She said "the creditors are calling day and night".
She's tried to talk to them but they are not being real polite,
We're so remiss our checks like rubber bounce higher than a kite,
We need nifty ways to pay for Christmas.
Fifty ways to pay for Christmas.

Get back in the black, Jack,
Don't sit on your can, Stan,
Get another employ, Roy,
Just go get some money.
Won't help to cuss, Gus,
Some cash a big plus, Dutch,
Go on pay the fee, Lee,
Some home equity.

Get back in the black, Jack,
Don't sit on your can, Stan,
Get another employ, Roy,
Just go get some money.
Won't help to cuss, Gus,
Some cash a big plus, Dutch,
Go on pay the fee, Lee,
Some home equity.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
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User Comments

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Johnny D - January 06, 2004 - Report this comment
If the Three Kings/Magi have some extra gold, here's hopin' they send some your way, Guy, to help pay for all the festivities! Good job. 5's
Laurence Dunne - January 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Great financial advice. Hang on, im writing it down. 5-5-5
Adagio - January 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Really good job, Guy! 5's
Adagio - January 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Hi Mary. :D
Meriadoc - January 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent as always Guy!
Jan Unwin - January 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever as ever
Disgruntled Husband - January 08, 2004 - Report this comment
You forgot having the wife killed for life insurance money.... just kidding, good job!

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