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Song Parodies -> "15 Girls To Taste For Hitler"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways To Leave Your Lover"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"15 Girls To Taste For Hitler"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Disclaimer: I'm the first to admit that the pacing kinda sucks on the namedropping parts of this parody (but I've tried to make up for that on the rest). For starters the original has one syllable names, but apparently German parents don't name their girls that way so I've had to go with mostly one extra all the way. Also I totally had to give up on finding German named food with good rhyming quality to such names. In the spirit of artistic license I'm therefore letting Hitler chow down on tortilla and smoke ganja (but do we really know for sure that he didn't?).

As for the context it's about Margot Woelk who at age 95 recently came out as the last survivor among a group of 15 young women that were forced to work as food tasters for Hitler during WW2 so that he wouldn't be poisoned and killed that way by the Allies. (I couldn't resist using this spicy title despite thinking it would be impossible to write the rest, as first said in my comment on Robert Arndt's parody on the same subject here: http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/halloates38.shtml).

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
The problem's his jagerwurst and all the revelry
With sauerkraut coming it was poisonous to me
We had to help him suck it down - we were draftees
We were the 15 girls to taste for Hitler

He served us kosher borscht and lagers, what a dude
But the catch - a risk of cyanide or strychnine in the food
We had to risk ourselves - for that lebensraum dumb feud
We were the 15 girls to taste for Hitler

15 girls to taste for Hitler

So just check out the milk, Silke
Stout should be cold, Isolde
Don't serve him no beans, Jasmine
He doesn't agree

Bring out the trout, Traute
He don't like salmone, Simone
'Less it's with pasta, Asta
With Mussolini

So how's the cajun, Sigrun
What's with the cole, Nicole
You check out his wurst, and Kirsten
Just take it in wee

Give him some pie, Kai
But not the whole deli, Geli
Don't spice it with chili, Lili
'Less from Germany

He said you girls this plum job's really not the end
That there's this Waffle-SS - to which we could transcend
We had a turnover chat
And negotiated for all the 15 girls

We said we're down to brans and cream is out of sight
And his retort - that the Ruskies took his Holsteins over night
And they were coming - with a slice and dice and menu overwrite
We were just 15 girls to waste for Hitler

15 girls to taste for Hitler

So just smell out the cheese, Liese
Beer should be fizzy, Resi
If choke on sardines, Sabine
The coffin is free

Bring out the wines, Ines
He don't like tequila, Mila
'Less with a Havana, Jana
And Steffi's coffee

And then he smokes ganja, Tanja
He likes his tortilla, Kamilla
You need to spread butter, Jutta
On everything, gee

Give him bonbons, Yvonne
But no more of cabbage, Gabi
Enough with the cheddar, Hedda
Or gas will get thee
© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 0
 
 5   2
 3
 4
 

User Comments

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Rob Arndt - May 28, 2013 - Report this comment
It still works, nicely done for a parody-555! The names of the girls ARE a problem and so are the menu items. Contrary to what has been said about Hitler and meat, NO, he WASN'T a vegetarian. He ate meat "on occasion" in small amts per Eva Braun and his doctor. Hitler had gastrointestinal problems and avoided heavy anything. He mostly ate veggies and light pasta, soups, and was a non-smoker and non-drinker (even pre-Nazi in WW1). Sad about the girls though. 14 were killed by the Reds b/c they stayed, the sole survivor alive b/c she left as advised by the Waffen SS.
Rob Arndt - May 28, 2013 - Report this comment
Btw, the girls were HIRED as kitchen staff (KH) and assumed the role, loyal to the Fuhrer until the very end (even though he relocated to the bunker in Jan '45). 14 of the 15 were killed for that loyalty. The sole survivor was not spared either and was gang-raped by the Reds as the war ended. But no one forced them to taste the food; on the contrary, the girls ate very well the entire time they were at the Wolf's Lair and did it willingly (albeit nervously).
Jonathan - May 28, 2013 - Report this comment
455 pretty good job!
Chris Bodily TM - June 17, 2013 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Tricky territory here. At least you were honest about the pacing. The subject matter is very... you know? The title sub and the rhymes work fine, given the pacing and subject matter problems. I must commend you for being brave enough to do a Hitler themed parody and doing it with class. 345
Matthias - June 24, 2013 - Report this comment
Pacing was off but it was a clever parody using real German names. Are these the actual food tasters of Hitler then?
bobpiecheese - June 28, 2013 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Interesting idea, but a bit awkward in the choruses, mainly because I don't know how most of those names are pronounced. I'm guessing they'd rhyme with the preceding word, but it still took me out of the parody. Not one of your best, TBH.
Abbott Skelding - June 29, 2013 - Report this comment
I agree with Matty that the pacing was off (as you noted) but I think because you used real German names (and rhymes with each of them), I think it's okay. That's a very interesting story that I've never heard of before. I've also had moment where I come up with a title sub that just HAD to be written, I so I can see why you followed through with this one. Nice work!
Blaydeman - June 30, 2013 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The pacing was a little rough, but since you mentioned it beforehand, I can't fault you too much. I hadn't heard about this, so I found the topic extremely intriguing. I was thoroughly interested throughout. Wasn't hilarious, but still very solid.
Peter Andersson - July 01, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks guys! As CB notes above this was a bit tricky to write on more than one level but "something different from what I've done before" seems to be one of the few things to ignite my parody mindset nowadays. And as long as one doesn't go further than Mel Brooks did in his "The Hitler Rap" I think a parody about him is an acceptable challenge. Too bad no-one noticed the Waffle-SS pun though...

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