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Song Parodies -> "50 Ways To Peeve Your Mother"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"50 Ways To Peeve Your Mother"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

"The problem is these are things I dread", she said to me
“Behaviours: disturbing, per-formed pathologically
It’s like that in my house I’m just a detainee”
There must be fifty ways to peeve your mother

She said “I fear I’ve nursed some vipers in my brood;
Motherhood is so demeaning when posterity is crude;
I would delete my whelps if keystrokes could just be used”
There must be fifty ways to peeve your mother
Fifty ways to peeve your mother

Don’t pick up your clothes, Rose
Don’t get a job, Bob
Oh don't clean up your room, June
Or finish your tea
Be sure to cuss, Gus
Them’s words she just loves much
Just argue with glee, Dee
Don’t ever agree

Keep makin’ long calls, Paul
Get caught with porn, Norm
Leave all the lights on, Dawn
‘Lectricity’s free
Miss the school bus, Gus
And watch her just fuss thus
Keep losin’ your keys - gee!
And watchin’ TV

She said “Reprieve is not in sight until eighteen
And then there are some things they still do to make you riled again”
She said: “I won’t bitch about nought, but could you please refrain
From your unthrifty ways?”

She said “Sometimes I just must weep or I’ll ignite;
And I’m aggrieved that this spawn of mine elicits such a fright
My kids dismiss me and I feel like a bad domestic blight”
There must be fifty ways to peeve your mother
Fifty ways to peeve your mother

Try sniffin’ some smack, Zac
Miss the trash can, Jan
You get caught with your snake, Jake
Leave out DVDs
Try to rebel, Belle
You keep giving her hell, Nell
Grow silly goatee, Lee
She won’t disagree?

Be a sad sack, Jack
Stay out way late, Kate
You just need to complain, Wayne
But life isn’t free...
Start calling her names, James
Don’t want her to stay sane
Just please humour me, Bree
And play with your peas...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Lifeliver - September 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Aah, martyr-mothers, tell me about it. Some great lines here. I like 'I would delete my whelps if keystrokes could be used' and just about all the 'ways'. Great idea. Lots of room to play in this song, which has to be one of Simon's catchiest in a long time..
Meriadoc - September 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Thank you ll - I quite liked that line myself. This is the second time we've parodied the OS and we have a recording running around somewhere of our M&P classic:
Martyr-Freaker - September 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Guilty of far more than 50, though DVDs weren't around then. I third LL's motion on "keystrokes". ... and one must always remember Calvin's classic response:
  Mom: "Why did you do (all those bad things)?"
  Calvin: (thinks) "Poor genetic material?"
Mwahahaha! 555

Two versions done here, no link-plugs, but "nifty ways to please your lover". One as advice to guys; one as advice to the ladies. Equal-opportunity parodying, no? ;)

("Calvin and Hobbes" ® Bill Watterson)
Meriadoc - September 13, 2012 - Report this comment
@MF'er: I'll have to try that Calvin line on my mother... and thanks for the plugs - Stopped by the one I had not yet seen. :)

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