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Song Parodies -> "50 Ways To Leave High Wycombe"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways To Leave Your Lover"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"50 Ways To Leave High Wycombe"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

One I found in the vaults... a bit of local history would probably help to get all the in-jokes, but tough: you'll just have to work it out as you go along.
"The problem's in the Eden building work", she said to me
The Bridge St. Car Park's gone, and there's no spaces free
And even though I know it's just temp-or-ar-eee
There must be fifty ways to leave High Wycombe

Shortage of parking means that costs are "reappraised"
(That's Council shorthand for "the charges will be raised")
People still shop here - well, I guess that I'm amazed
There must be fifty ways to leave High Wycombe
Fifty Ways to leave High Wycombe

You just get on your bike, Mike
Or step on a train, Jane
From Booker you fly, Guy
Or ride on a deer
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just get in the car, Ma
And get outta here

Ooo.. take the A40, Lordi
Or M25, Clive
The A404, Delors
I tell you to steer
Up Desborough Ave., chav
A4010, Moe
Down West Wycombe Road, Toad
And get outta here

She said it's hard with Christmas shopping in the rain
Just finding parking spaces drives you near insane
I said I realize, so please let me explain
About the fifty ways

'Though I know shopkeepers have a living they must earn
Town Centre turmoil, well it's causing me concern
And when they've finished... hell, I'll probably return
'Til then there's fifty ways to leave High Wycombe
Fifty Ways to leave High Wycombe

You just head off to Slough, Mao
Across to Reading, Ming
Go to Aylesbury, Jerry
It's just a short hop
It's time to leave, Steve
Walkin' or rowin', Cohen
That's using your head, Ned
And shop 'til you drop

Train into Lon, Don
Or to Stevenage, Mitch
Fly to Paris, Dee
Ain't nothing to fear
Or shop in New York, Mork
It don't make you a dork, Bjork
Turin or Milan, Dan
Just get outta here

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Leo Keough - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment
555...Does your muse have some kind of psychic connection with mine?
Andy Primus - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I thought the best line was "council shorthand". PS I know what you're talking about - I've got an aunt who lives in Chalfont St Peter (very posh). Took many visits before I was used to the magic roundabout (you're probably the only one on this site that will know what I mean by that)
Phil Alexander - April 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Leo - I wrote this one a long time back, but didn't post it then as I'd sent it for publication to the local rag (editor: Steve Cohen... he got shoe-horned in there, too: maybe that's why he didn't use it); have to say that the couple of "parodies" he did print were utterly awful.

Andy - yes, I live just up the hill from the magic roundabout... and it's often the true lines that are funniest: parking costs were "reappraised", leading to a 67% increase in the basic 2-hour ticket price. If anyone else is wondering what we mean... have a look here: http://tinyurl.com/magicround

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