The problem's all inside your head, I said to him
You can do it if you're wanting to get trim
Once you've decided that you're going to get slim
There must be fifty ways to lose your blubber

I said, it's really not my habit to intrude
But if you've got parts that you don't want to protrude
I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to lose your blubber

Chorus:
Go for a run, Hon
Lift some weights, Nate
Stay off the pie, Guy
Just get yourself free
Walk to the bus, Gus
No need for a big fuss
Just lay off the chips, Nick
And get yourself free

He said, I guess I could stop eating so much cheese
It has a way of making blubber to me freeze
Could you just tell me a little more, please
About the Fifty Ways?

I said If you roll from your car like an egg
And you don't know a tree stump from your leg
There's a good chance you need to stay clear of the fridge
There must be fifty ways to lose your blubber
Fifty ways to lose your blubber

Repeat Chorus