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Song Parodies -> "Crappy Cruise"

Original Song Title:

"Jackie Blue"

Original Performer:

Ozark Mountain Daredevils

Parody Song Title:

"Crappy Cruise"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

Ooh, crappy cruise
Natural light? Nil – no windows in room
Wild that ‘stateroom’ means twenty decks down
Ooh, crappy, sure - first to drown…

Dislike they lied: read faked brochure while
Agent thought ‘cinch’ - sold me trip with smile
They lost my bags so now I’m in buff
Going around in life preserver sucks

Ooh, crappy cruise
What a shame that ship ran out of food
I got thinner but not by design
When back home, this boat I’ll malign

And now they tell me salmonella scare
I’ll soon be spewing and I start to swear
While I was queasy wife did snatch a fling
With sweaty deckhand; caught them nautic’ling

Ooh, crappy cruise
Quaking, seasick ‘cus wavelets are rude
Going places where cruises don’t go
Ooh, creaky this tub’s a no-no

Ooh-hoo, crappy cruise
Now it seems that they’ve broken the loos
Rumors fly ‘bout the pickle we’re in
Say’n Captain is tipplin’ on gin

Have to say, came as no big surprise
The lifeboats won’t fall but they will freely rise
Skipper at bar was an obvious sign...
Should ring that bell – maybe ‘twenty-nine times’

Ooh, crappy cruise
Won’t survive: I’m inside of my tomb
Starts to sink ‘cus that ice is a berg
Ooh, leaking! The trip is at end!

Ooh, crappy
Not happy
Ooh, scrap heap
I’m crabmeat

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Guy - May 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Fine refs to TWOTEF and Titanic. Can't believe that I am the first to comment on this. This is a bruisin' cruisin'. It makes me think of "Carnivore" cruises which have had plenty of exposure in the news over the years. I'm cruisin' out but not by sea. Fine write.
paul robinson - November 29, 2018 - Report this comment
You posted this near the end of my 10 yr.+ absence from the site. Just found it while browsing around a bit. Good stuff, 5's

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