I can tell where you walked
By that stink from your heel, girl
Some horse made doody in your sappy world
You need shoes, but you're afraid from what you stepped in
Sometime soon you'll walk along
And step in a pile again

One road apple won't spoil your whole lunch, girl
Pew, give 'em one more scrape maybe they'll just come clean
One road apple won't spoil your whole lunch, girl
Oooh, I don't care how it smells, I don't care about turds

You are feeling crappy baby, steppin' in that doo
So I brought you this big clothespin for your nose so the stench won't come through
Let me clean off that stain on your pants
And there's no guarantee that you won't step in it again

One road apple won't spoil your whole lunch, girl
Pew, give 'em one more scrape maybe they'll just come clean
One road apple won't spoil your whole lunch, girl
Oooh, I don't care how it smells, I don't care about turds, now

I've been noticing that people don't clean up the slime (up the slime, now)
It's such a shame that there's a turd that drops from each creature behind
Girl, to me you never had good scents (had good scents, now)
I would rather smear myself with that old excrement

One road apple won't spoil your whole lunch, girl
Pew, give 'em one more scrape maybe they'll just come clean
One road apple won't spoil your whole lunch, girl
Oooh, I don't care how it smells, I don't care about turds
One road apple won't spoil your whole lunch, girl
Pew, give 'em one more scrape maybe they'll just come clean
One road apple won't spoil your whole lunch, girl
Oooh, I don't care how it smells, I don't care about turds