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Song Parodies -> "Horse's Rear End (Inferno)"

Original Song Title:

"Horse With No Name (The Journey)"

Original Performer:

Neil Young

Parody Song Title:

"Horse's Rear End (Inferno)"

Parody Written by:

Offender

The Lyrics

The mainstream media has certainly committed more than its share of sins, so I got to thinking: what would be an especially fitting punishment for all the hacks and flacks of today? What if Dante's Inferno had a special section for media people?
When I first spotted a journal,
It was sticking out from a pile
There were rank cow flops and bits of things
There were notes and scribblings

The first flacks I met were a horse with a butt
And a guy, head-first in;
His pad was out and as he would write,
He would give the report his spin.

Newsmen's heads are anchored in a horse's rear end.
They can't pull their heads back out again.
Unrepentant; they can't remember their shame,
'Cause they don't read blogs that have challenged their claims.
Na na, na un na na na, na na na, na na...
Na na, na un na na na, na na na, na na...

Within two days, when they've had their fun
It's found their claim is all wet.
Within two weeks, when its course is run,
Then we slowly begin to forget.

The pundits get appalled that it's seldom recalled
But what reason have we to fret?

You see, newsmen's heads are anchored in a horse's rear end.
They can't pull their heads back out again.
Unrepentant; they can't remember their shame,
'Cause they don't read blogs that have challenged their claims.
Na na na, na un na na na, na na na, na na...
Na na na, na un na na na, na na na, na na...

[Guitar Instrumental]

It's a fine place for their hypocrisy,
As I think Dante would agree;
In horse apples, turds, cow flops and things
For their final reckonings.

The reporters' feet are permanently stuck in concrete
And their bodies in piles of dung.
And no one pities former newsmen elite
'Cause they're getting back what they flung.

You see, newsmen's heads are anchored in a horse's rear end.
They can't pull their heads back out again.
Unrepentant; they can't remember their shame,
'Cause they don't read blogs that have challenged their claims.
Na na na, na un na na na, na na na, na na...
Na na na, na un na na na, na na na, na na...
[etc.]
Of course, Dante was just writing a comedy, and I'm just writing a parody. (I also got some of my ideas from C.S. Lewis and his descriptions of Heaven and Hell in The Great Divorce.) Still, I think we can expect to see many of the media's "best and brightest" in the flames of the real Hell when all is said and done.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 0
 
 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   4
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 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Red Ant - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Offender, I really dislike this OS, so by default any parody of it gets a 555 from me. That said, this is pretty good stuff again. I suppose fitting "Cranial-Rectal Inversion" in here wouldn't have scanned well.
Lurker - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
The point is correct (that the dominant liberal news media [ABC/CBS/NBC/NYT/WP/PBS]) are basically worthless. But the point was made too crudely. Stay away from the gutter language in future.
Paul Robinson - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Offender - it didn't do much for me so I didn't vote...you had some cleverness in the verses, however, the chorus's were too repetitious for my parody tastes. FYI - the "performer" of this song, though SOUNDING quite a bit like Neil Young, was actually the group "America".
Adagio - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
The choruses WERE a bit repetitious, but I enjoyed it overall, I even like the OS. Good one! 5's
Michael Pacholek - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
The lead singer of America DOES sound like Neil Young, so I won't dock you any points. (I also thought the lead singer of Gallery, on their own 1972 hit, "So Nice to Be With You," sounded exactly like Neil Diamond.) This parody is firmly ensconced in the fifth circle of Amiright.
Offender - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
I'd often read online that the lyrics were from Neil Young, but it seems I did goof on that one. I guess it's kind of like all of those song parodies floating around that aren't by Weird Al Yankovic. Yes, the chorus is repetitive; so's the original song, and I think that's intentional. Lurker, what "gutter language" did I use in here? I don't see any.
Royce Miller - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I like this one, Offender--has an amusing tone to it, and a truthful one. I've often wondered what it would be like to be a news reporter and have to hash over the same stories over and over again, and have to be wearing really nice clothes, to do it!

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