Well, I dreamed I saw the plates of armor mounted
On our newly-arrived APC's
We were sick of waitin'
And tired of scroungin'
Through the bombed-out SUV's

So at the Rumsfeld peptalk
I spoke up
Just a lowly Spc.:
"Secretary, why can't we get trucks
For Iraq insurgencies?
Secretary, why can't we get trucks
For Iraq insurgencies?"

I've been stationed at a camp called Buehring
For the Tennessee National Guard
I'll see battle, that's a sure thing
I know combat can be hard

Maybe if Jenna Bush were
In my lap
Or even Andy Card—
Then I wouldn't have to take such crap
From this hemorrhoid retard!
Then I wouldn't have to take such crap
From this hemorrhoid retard!

(French horn solo—engines revving—mortars blasting—shouting—grenades exploding, etc.)

Well, I dreamed they held elections in November
And the Democrats actually won
It was late December
With family members
Gathered 'round my wife and son--

All in a dream, all in a dream
I'm loading up my gun
Fighting through the streets of old Tikrit
With a new hole in my bun
Fighting through the streets of old Tikrit
With a new hole.....