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Song Parodies -> "Unopened Can of Spam"

Original Song Title:

"Solitary Man"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Neil Diamond

Parody Song Title:

"Unopened Can of Spam"

Parody Written by:

Royce Miller

The Lyrics

Some people are wondering what I am made of--
Gopher guts? Groundhog nuts?
I'm something that some folks are always afraid of
Am I real? will I kill?

Don't know if you will, but until you can bite me
Without knowing just how they make me or grind me
I'll stay what I am--
Unopened can of spam

I come in a block, when you fry me I shrivel
Lots of grease, drain me, please
But I surely have no more fat than does bacon
And you eat it, you hypocrite

Don't know if you will, but until you can bite me
Without knowing just how they make me or grind me
I'll stay what I am--
Unopened can of spam

I've had it to here being where I'm a small word
I'm just Spam, I'm not ham
But if you were hungry, I bet you would eat me
On some bread, with cheese spread..

Repeat Chorus

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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malcolm higgins - May 26, 2003 - Report this comment
unopened ham is my favourite bread filler, reading a funny is nice from Royce Miller Neil Diamond sounds just as good as he's been 5-5-5 cross the board from my queen " royce is just one of a few of my favourite things"
Meriadoc - May 26, 2003 - Report this comment
I loved 'when you fry me I shrivel'. Shrivel is a hilarious word. It topped off a perfect parody!
Jonathan C. - May 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Royce, I kinda thought you were most a pastrami gal. I also thought you were male. ;)
royce miller - May 27, 2003 - Report this comment
Jonathan C--Pastrami?? No, I made my "I'm a female" declaration sometime back, but it's interesting how people treat you, depending on what gender they think you are. Regards
Michael Pacholek - May 27, 2003 - Report this comment
So now we know what Royce is made of: "Sugar and spice and everything nice." We still don't know for sure, however, whether Merry and Pip are made of that, or of "snips and snails and puppy-dog tails." But a nice job doing Neil Diamond from when he was actually a great songwriter, and not the "Jewish Elvis" who doesn't bring Barbra Streisand flowers anymore.
Royce Miller - May 27, 2003 - Report this comment
Michael Pacholek--Thanks so much for your kind comment about my parody. To be honest, "we all got a few snips and snails" in us from time to time, but I hope that sugar wins in the end. Regards
Claude Prez - May 27, 2003 - Report this comment
You said "bite me"..Heh heh... Well done as always.

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