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Song Parodies -> "Don't Young Things Have Flowers Anymore? (A Father's Lament, Part II)"

Original Song Title:

"You Don't Bring Me Flowers"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Neil Diamond

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Young Things Have Flowers Anymore? (A Father's Lament, Part II)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Please also see Part I, "Has Ev'rybody Seen My Gal (Nude? -- A Father's Lament, Part I)
Young girls don't have flowers
Texting pictures of thongs
Can't bear vir-gin-ity anymore
Not to come is a bore
No more "Wedding's the day"

I remember when
They'd say, "Must wait to love me"
Used, first date? No; leave, she
Now they're all lovin', each date, each night
They have wood for you
And you're sayin' "Alright"
Kindly just roll over
Doggie-style, in sight
No, young girls don't have flowers anymore

They used to stay so natural
With H. Imperforata [1]
But "unused, she" don't count anymore
They just lay till they're sore
While old creeps are away

But Baby, please remember
All the things, can caught, be
Get burned by the syph'
Or by herpes, oh my!
Full of "child of love" [2]
Or catch AIDS, and you die
So, please hear my concern
(Maybe hump, staying dry?)
'Cause Daddy waits up hours at the door



[1] (Medical Latin) -- intact hymen

[2] i. e., pregnant.

© 2010 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   9
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 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Mark Scotti - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Quite a tale for "Valentines DaY"???? LOL
Old Man Ribber - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
I weep for the death of innocence, but shed tears of laughter for this parody! ;D
FS TEA - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
This hits the "G" spot for great. Spoofing with a titillating twist.
Christie Marie M - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Not only just a father's nightmare, even mother's get affected by their daughter's display of impurity. I also heard of the pregnancy pact in Massachussetts, and they made a Lifetime movie out of it. This kind of satire should be played in the Lifetime channel as well as your first part of this song.
Fiddlegirl - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Perhaps it's because I work with teens, but I actually found this one quite poignant.
"They used to stay so natural With H. Imperforata [1]" -- brilliant
Imperfor-Yoda - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Too funny. too true and trewe ewe! Bravo TT!
Warren Baker - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Interesting choice of parody. Bittersweet. LIked it a lot.
Andria - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Great parody, great subject matter, 5s, and no comment regarding whether or not I'm a virgin.
Phil Nelson - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
interesting
Tommy Turtle - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Cute-pid comment!
Old Man Ribber: Poetic! (seriously)... thanks!
FS TEA: And you hit TT's "T" spot -- for "thanks".
Christie Marie M: If only they would play it -- I could use the royalties. If you submit to them as my agent, I'll pay you 10% -- and give thanks anyway for v/c!
Fiddlegirl: Poignancy was intended; pregnancy usually is not. Glad it resonated that way for you. (Betcha didn't know yer collab had a poignant side, didja?) ... thanks for the line shout-out. :)
Imperfor-Yoda: Quite the thanks to you I give!
Warren Baker: Bittersweet write, as well, Thanks for empathizing and for v/c.
Andria: OK, I won't comment -- a gentleman never tells, anyway. ;-) Thanks for v/c.
Sorry for missing Phil Nelson! - July 02, 2012 - Report this comment
Mush have cross-posted at the time. Is saying "thanks" 2 1/2 years later better than never?
Lifeliver - October 02, 2012 - Report this comment
Vaguely know OS, but your usual paradise of perpiscacious perfidious parodoxical parody, softened with sentient sentences.
Tommy Turtle - October 02, 2012 - Report this comment
Lifeliver: Appreciate astute and alliterative appraisal and assay, and answers e-mail question re: pursuing advanced degrees.

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