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Song Parodies -> "Cracklin' Rosie (O'Donnell)"

Original Song Title:

"Cracklin' Rosie"

Original Performer:

Neil Diamond

Parody Song Title:

"Cracklin' Rosie (O'Donnell)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Babbling Rosie's got lard
We're gonna roast her 'til there ain't no flab
Left on her bones
Basting her slow
Lawd, don't you know how
To make a meal of a useless talk lady?

Steer clear of her Streisand-soaked brain
Ain't nothing in there that I would care to munch
So I'll marble her meat
And declaw her feet
The girth of her torso alone
Could feed India for months

Oh, I love my Rosie mild
Her flesh mixed with bread and red wine sauce
Has me dining in style

So keep stuffing me
'Til my abs make love to my groin

Her crackling meat's no store bought flank
She sizzles and smokes like a girl who learns that
Her first name is Hank

So don't leave the table
'Coz her gristle keeps poppin' on
Eat it now, eat it now!
Eat it now my babies!

Cracklin' Rosie, let's rest for a while
I'll toss your big trunk into the fireplace
And then, I'll add your big head
It'll make the flames red
If The View comes around,
We won't answer their questions, yeah

Oh, I love my Rosie fire
I can warm my hands as the orange embers are
Eating her eyes
And licking her thighs
If your cutesy Tom Cruise comes 'round knocking
We'll yell nobody's home

Cracklin' Rosie, you're no store bought log
You heat me up like a nasty farmer
Flogging his hog

So keep heatin' me
'Coz your spattering fat is my Broadway song
Said, Feel it now, feel it now!
I feel your heat now, burn baby!

Chattering Rosie never made me smile
When she starred in The Flintstones
That's when I smelled trouble
She's no Betty Rubble
And she sure as hell ain't no vixen in Exit to Eden
She's best left for eatin'
And, sometimes, reheatin'

Flame is out!
Flame is out!
Flame is out, my babies!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   2
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Chris Pollman - December 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Great job! 555!
Yoidy - December 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanx Chris! Gets ya in the mood for a BBQ.
Michael Pacholek - December 11, 2006 - Report this comment
An awful parody, regardless of what I think about Rosie. The pacing and rhymes were both way off. I've seen your work, Yoidy, and you've shown you can do MUCH better than this.
Yoidy - December 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Appreciate the feedback and your concern, Mike. The original lyrics had a weird rhyme scheme, too. As a result, I deliberately tried not to rhyme too much in the song, for the sake of doing something different. This will still be included in my greatest hits package because I had such a good time writing it!
John Barry - December 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Sickly hilarious.
TJC - December 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Its Lechter-riffic!
Red Ant - December 11, 2006 - Report this comment
I partially agree with MP; I read this twice to TOS and had considerable problems getting it to scan, epecially the first time when the song ended and I was only half-way through the parody. I thought it was funny, so I gave you a 354

Note that a 3 on pacing here from me does not mean this wouldn't make a great recording as-written (usually when I give a 3 the pacing is so bad that, IMHO, it's patently unrecordable w/o re-writing ~75% of the song, or the parody is incomplete); it just means that I couldn't follow this very well.
Yoidy - December 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, Red, if you're gonna record it, you gotta have me in the studio singin' it and I'll show you what I mean. Or if you have someone else record it, give me the credit for the words please. Thanks! Meanwhile, I'll probably be singing it acapella on my friend's radio station. Thanks for readin!

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