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Song Parodies -> "Disputes With Steven Hawking"

Original Song Title:

"These Boots Are Made For Walkin'"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Nancy Sinatra

Parody Song Title:

"Disputes With Steven Hawking"

Parody Written by:

TJC

The Lyrics

Apparently Steven has quite the temper...
~

[ sung by Chairman of the American Acadamy of Sciences: ]

You keep claimin’ you’re ‘Mandingo Einstein’
Rantin’ how your *genius* “wuz re-pressed”
You’re pro-fessin’ “neutrons are a’ cross-dressin’”?
And with ‘mauve-hole’ radiation you’re obsessed
Dis-putes with Steven Hawking,
flamboyantly pursued…
One of these days he *scoots*
his power-chair all over you!


[ sung by Mandingo (to a confident ‘walking’ descending base line): ]

“Haw-king’s chum-dumb, so-so hum-drum, Steve's some scum bum, *I’m* the one, son—
Yeah!


[ sung by Chairman: ]

You keep cubin’ when you outta be squarin’
And you keep gettin’ ‘E’ and ‘c-squared’ re-versed
You keep claimin’ Heisenberg was *certain*
And that Max Plank’s only ‘constant’ is ‘per-verse’!
Dis-putes with Steven Hawking,
flamboyantly pursued
One of these days he *shoots*
his trach-e-osto-juice on you!


[ sung by Mandingo (more tenuously to a ‘crawling’ descending base line): ]

“Haw-king’s chum-dumb, so-so hum-drum, Steve-o’s some bum, I’m the one, son—
- right? -


[ sung by Chairman: ]

You keep keep saying there’s a 'Fifth Dimension'
Where “Up, Up and Away’s” the way quarks act – Ha!
What’s this pap ‘bout ‘Fuchsia G-String Theory’ (yo?)
Or that Planet Seacrest’s ‘rings’ are *still* intact?
Dis-putes with Steven Hawking,
flamboyantly pursued
One of these days he *routes*
his friggin’ worm-hole over you!


[ sung by a *repentant* Mandingo (to a ‘freefalling’ falsetto line): ]

“Er, Steve, Yo, hon, *I’m* the dumb one, and just fun-un, …Beam *me* to SUN?
Whoa!


[ spoken with mechanistic vehemence by Hawking: ]

Got some Vulcan boots?
Start Spockin’!


[ Mandingo, in a mewling croak from somewhere on Vulcan: ]

“Alright. ALRIGHT! I’m quitting with the ‘A Brief History of Thyme’ jokes… Okay… OKAY?”

~

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   13
 12
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dylan Baranski - September 13, 2007 - Report this comment
5-5-5 "Brief History of Thyme" jokes for you!
John Barry - September 13, 2007 - Report this comment
This beaut has made me wahahaing. Erudite and hilarious
alvin - September 13, 2007 - Report this comment
funny and masterfully written... E= 5 to the third power
Jonathan S. - September 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Strange, but good. 545
2Eagle - September 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Fascinating. Get with the Fifth Dimension in their balloon.
AFW - September 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Very intellectually humerous...with your usual high caliber quality
Ann Hammond - September 13, 2007 - Report this comment
he he
John Jenkins - September 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Escellent title and the parody is a big bang.
TJC - September 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Dylan, John B., alvin, Jonathon, 2Eagle, AFW, Ann and John J... appreciate all the kind comments/votes... and I *really* hope Steven didn't get any 'trach-e-osto-juice' on y'all!
stuart mcarthur - September 14, 2007 - Report this comment
brilliant - dense with erudition - and I just loved the subs for the quartertone step-by-step bass guitar descents that Lee Hazelwood actually removed the frets from his guitar to achieve in the OS ( I believe) - I've parodiede this OS too TJC, and I love it, but I never would have been ambitious enough to put lyrics to that! and with hilarious results too, no less!- 555
Red Ant - September 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent and funny title sub that draws in the reader. I'm afraid I don't know much about SH or his works, but "Fuchsia G-String Theory" is something I'm willing to learn about, lol. 5s
TJC - September 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Stuart... I didn't know that bit of trivia and hadn't glommed to the fact that they were 'quartertones'... ironically, I'd been 'fretting' over that ' words to base line' thing needlessly. Appreciate your generosity with votes and analysis. Red Ant - thanks for the comment and I find tossing in lines about g-strings really helps when you're thinging the thong!
Tommy Turtle - September 16, 2007 - Report this comment
What a title switch!
TJC, I remember way back when I used to rag on you about your pacing :) You've become the Stephen Hawking of parody (minus the wheelchair, I hope)... No uncertainty here: 555
TJC - September 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, TT... means a lot coming from a master of the form.... and I love the gentle but firm spelling hint--beats a ruler's sharp crack over the knuckles any day!
Frederich VanChocstraw - March 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Fabel !

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