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Song Parodies -> "I'm Just A Henchman For A Very Bad Man"

Original Song Title:

"I'm Just A Singer In A Rock And Roll Band"

Original Performer:

Moody Blues

Parody Song Title:

"I'm Just A Henchman For A Very Bad Man"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

How do evil James Bond villains manage to recruit armies of henchmen?
I'm just a-fiddling with this nuclear bomb
so don't criticize me - I'm just doing my job
and as I'm driving home I don't think about
what my boss needs the bomb for - I just work there because...
well if you want to know the truth, I'll tell you for free
and you're the only other person to know - don't judge me
I'm just a henchman for a very bad man

A million lives he'll waste achieving his aim
of world domination - he is crazy you see
A million miles he travelled just coz he heard
I knew about wiring - what a help I could be
so if you understand the earth will soon be his toy
and you can see I value loyal-ty, don't ask me
why I'm a henchman for a very bad man

wear these uniforms
they will help us
coz when the good guys arrive
they can tell who all the baddies are and
shoot us one by one
shoot us one by one

I'm just a-fiddling with this timing device
that will snuff out whole countries in his dastardly plan
Although I have a wife and beautiful kids
the dental plan's good, and I'm a family man
So if you want to ask me why I've taken this job
well you're the only other person who knows - I'm sorry but
I'm just a henchman for a very bad man

I'm just a henchman for a very bad man

grab my gun and shoot
as the good guys raid our
when we SHOULD all band together
to negotiate a plea bargain
and dob in this madma-an
dob in this madma-an

James Bond has just arrived he's shooting us up
have to stand on this bal-cony so he can kill me
I'm just a henchman for a very bad man
I'm just a henchman for a very bad man
I have an engineering honours degree
but I threw it away just to work for this man
Despite my education I'm pretty dumb
coz James'll blow this private atoll to Kingdom Come

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   2
 4   1
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Yee Haw!! Moody Blues! Very good parody....pacing off a little, but still enjoyable. 4,5,5.
Johnny D - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D-Bond: "So, McArthurfinger, you expect me to comment?"

Stuartauric McArthurfinger: "No-o-o Mister D-Bond, I expect you to FIVE!"
alvin rhodes - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
tough song to pulled it off masterfully...5s
AFW - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Very intriguing..5's
Stuart McArthur - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Adagio - it's funny, I played the song constantly as I wrote it to make sure the pacing was perfect, yet I know you've recently parodied this OS, so you know the pacing as well - yet we differ - just shows it's in the reading, I guess :-)

Johnny D-Bond - I see you're shaken, but not so easily stirred Mr D-Bond

thanks Alvin (I do love the OS - still playing it for my own listening pleasure!)

thanks AFW - evil does intrigue
Michael Pacholek - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I guess Dr. Evil really was surrounded by freakin' idiots. Good show, Agent 005. Just make sure to keep the British end up. Goodnight!
Stuart McArthur - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Doing my best MP - please tell Miss Moneypenny not to wait up - she'll understand
S.T.G. - March 02, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS- but I am still voting and commenting ahead of time for the classified thingys for the contest. funny though
Rex - March 04, 2006 - Report this comment
[AmiRight Classifieds] There must be multiple versions of the OS, because I just listened to my copy as I was reading this and, like Adagio, noticed a couple of places where the pacing was off just a tad. But that's ok with me as long as the parody lyrics still fit in the music, and these do -- as well as being a clever idea well written.
Stuart McArthur - March 04, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks Rex, and I'm perplexed about the pacing issue. Is it the last line that you had a problem with, because I just played it while reading it again, and couldn't find a problem, except that I took liberties with the repeated last line of the OS so I could finish the story - if not, I'm curious as to what line(s) didn't work for you
Agrimorfee - March 16, 2006 - Report this comment
(Help Wanted) This fits in best with the spirit of the contest thus far.
Red Ant - March 19, 2006 - Report this comment
(Classifides) I see you have a few comments already regarding the pacing; I had trouble too. I played the version from "Seventh Sojourn"; first of all, it is a very tough song to pace IMO. I also searched for a set of lyrics that fit my d/l version. For the pacing blips, normally I wouldn't elaborate in this detail but since you asked (long list here):
BR>"so don't criticize me" is a syllable short from "meeting so many people" (uncontracting "don't " cleared that up).

"he is crazy you see" is a syllable over "we got to agree" (contracting "he is" cleared that up).
BR> "A million miles he travelled just coz he heard" is a syllable over "A thousand miles can lead so many ways" (leaving "just" out cleared that up).

"DESTROY" is a syllable short of "destroying" (not sure how to pace that one)

"coz when the good guys arrive/they can tell who all the baddies are and/shoot us one by one/ shoot us one by one" is an 8/9/5/5 syllable pattern vs "And when you see a frightened person/who is frightened by the people/who are scorching (scorching) this earth/(scorch) scorching this earth" which is 9/8/8/6 pattern, or disregarding the background vocals 9/8/6/5 pattern. I'm guessing not all versions start with "and" and adding "they" to the first instance of "and shoot us one by one" cleard that up. The format of that part of the song may have something to do with perceived errors as well, it seemed a bit odd IMHO

So, that all said, I had to work a bit to get the pacing 'right'. Oh, it's pretty funny too, loved the ending. :-) 555. (If that isn't feedback I don't know what is!)
Red Ant - March 19, 2006 - Report this comment
PS- Please don't lynch me! (and what happened to two of my break tags?)
Stuart McArthur - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
No worries, Red. As you may have predicted, I just posted a VERY lengthy reply, but a little too lengthy maybe, as I just got a "Thankyou - we'll get back to you" message - for the first time, for me. Anyway, watch this space! (hate to have to type it all out again) ;-)
Paul Robinson - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, all the "pacing" discussion grabbed my interest. I don't have the recording with me, but all the examples Red used of pacing irregularities are ones that I believe the writer can justify here. Since I started doing vocal overlays for all my pieces where I have access to the OS recording I have found that syllable count does not necessarily have to be an exact match for pacing to work, as long as you can slightly push or hold the missing or excess part and not lose the flow of the notes of the original music in the process...of course if you "push" syllables too fast it can make your version way too awkward, so it requires care. Another way it is feasible to use an extra syllable is when there is a gap between the end of OS lyrics on one line and then beginning of the next. You can start slightly ahead with a one-syllable word and thus not have to 'push' any syllables within the line to match things up...but they gotta match up pretty well throughout the line if you're going to do that...anyway, that's my 3 or 4 or 6 cents worth...with all that crap in mind, the pacing here works for me...5's across ~ ~ ~
Stuart McArthur - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Paul - you and I are of like mind - I see syllable-counting as a cancer, because it allows newbie parodists to think they've achieved correct pacing, when good pacing is VERY difficult, and correct syllable-count is something my nine year old boy can do

Obviously my disallowed reply to Red (above) is not going to be permitted (it WAS very long) so I'll post it now on the Message Board, to spark some more debate on this favourite topic of mine - I'd love you to check it out, because some of the points I made were exactly the points you just made :-)
Stuart McArthur - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
discussion continued here...,18042.0.html
Mister Critic - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Apparently Mr. Ant forgot to put the "less than" symbols on his BR tags, which is why they're showing up.
Jeff Reuben - March 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Classifieds: Good timing (for me anyway) I watched parts of a Bond marathon over the weekend. Well done!
Matthias - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow!!!! This has to be the ultimate worst job of all time... Great parody of Bond, James Bond
Johnny D-Bond - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Oh, I just remembered ... it's against company policy to give "endorsements" ... but I'll make an exception in this case!

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