-> "Sven (Kramer - 'Wrong-Lane' Olympic Speedskater)"
Original Song Title:
"Ben"
Parody Song Title:
"Sven (Kramer - 'Wrong-Lane' Olympic Speedskater)"
The Lyrics
Sven, on fast track for gold medal score
Keen to match the one you won before
In 5000, how you shone [1]
Prepared for you: A throne
All Netherlands could see
Speedskating royalty
Sven, the heavy medal fav'rite there
Nerves: steel; confident, entitled air [2]
Stiffed, Dude-- golden dream denied
Your coach stood on the side
Laps counting, so you'd know
How many left to go
"The time was right, so said he
Inner lane: I was free
But coach was wrong; didn't see
Skate a 'bust'… DQ'd me" [3]
Sven, your coach should maybe move away [4]
Join the Peace Corps or the CIA
I think that's what I would do
If I were in his shoes
If my fault it had been
That the gold was lost for Sven
For Sven
Poor Sven
[1] Kramer set an Olympic record in the 5,000 meters earlier in the competition.
[2] Kramer did not win many friends in the international media when he called an American reporter "stupid" during an interview.
[3] Kramer turned in the fastest time, but was disqualified for skating in the wrong lane for the final eight laps, a result of incorrect instructions shouted to him by his coach.
[4] Speedskating is HUGE in the Netherlands. Sven Kramer is a big celebrity there, and the Dutch are angry! (Don't make them angry. You wouldn't like them when they're angry! -- Dr. David Banner.) One huge front-page headline, over coach's head: BLUNDER. Yep.
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 5.0 | |
How Funny: | 5.0 | |
Overall Rating: | 5.0 | |
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Total Votes: | 6 |
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