In a church in Salinas, the bells begin ringing
And the pews quickly fill up with guests
My camera man, Eddie
Has his camera ready
Everything's perfect, I'm blessed

Flower girls hold their flowers,
They've rehearsed for hours
And the best man is calmer than most
My father looks handsome
So brown, guess he tanned some
Just back from two weeks on the Florida coast

Hey, I've pitched a no hitter,
No flutters, no jitter
The weather is sunny and still
Not forgetting one thing,
The Murphy's Law cursing
When something can go wrong, it will

The crowd hushes whispers
And I start in walking
Arm in arm, with my Dad, down the aisle
One knee does some shaking
I hear something breaking
Then, clomp with a limp and a smile...

I picked a fine time to break a Loose Heel
The day of my wedding, this is all so unreal
I wear a white gown
Could be a nightgown
More embarrassed I could not feel
This ain't the best time to lose a Loose Heel

People are staring
I'm mentally swearing
Dad's tan turns as white as my dress
It's a ghost for the giver,
And I'm like Long John Silver
Peg-legging my way through the mess

We make the altar,
Reverend doesn't falter
The rest of the service goes fine
But, everyone sees a
Leaning Bride of Pisa
Thanks to this lost high heel of mine...

It was a fine time to lose a Loose Heel
The day of my wedding, it was all so unreal
But things turned out groovy, we sold the movie,
An "America's Funniest" deal
Perhaps a good time to break a Loose Heel