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Song Parodies -> "The Stumbler"

Original Song Title:

"The Gambler"

Original Performer:

Kenny Rogers

Parody Song Title:

"The Stumbler"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

No, this isn't about Georgie Bush. (Already did that one: "The Bumbler." Too bad the prediction therein didn't come true.) This is about a man much like yours truly.
A long time ago
it seemed like I'd get nowhere.
You see, I am a stumbler.
I'm a klutz and I'm a geek.
As myself off I am dusting
I can see the people staring.
One of them, he shook his head
and he began to speak.

He said,
"Son, I've made a lifetime
of cleaning people's faces
from where they hit the ground and scraped
their noses, chins and eyes.
And if you don't mind me saying
you aren't full of graces.
For a taste of your Pepsi
I'll give ya some advice."

So I handed him the bottle
but it dropped through his fingers.
Bent down, picked up each piece
and threw it in the trash.
And the night got deathly quiet
except for choir, background singers.
He said, "Now, son, there's hope for you
though so often you crash.

You gotta watch where you're goin'.
Go where you're knowin'.
Know where to put your feet
when you need to run.
You never wear shoelaces.
Boy, you need some shoes with velcro.
There'll be times that you'll stay upright
when this stuff is done.

Every stumbler knows
that the secret to surviving
is knowing someone will be there
to catch you when you fall.
'Cause everyone's a stumbler
but you ain't one that's dumber.
And the best that you can hope for
is to stay on the ball."

Well, his advice got me thinking.
And then, while I was walking
crashed into someone and
thought, "Damn, who is this creep?"
But right there in the darkness
an equally klutzy woman.
And in her elfin eyes I found
a girl that I could keep.

She's gonna watch where I'm goin'.
I'll go where she's knowin'.
Knows where to put her feet.
There's no need to run.
We always count our blessings
'cause together, we are able
to find time to catch each other
when the stumbling's is done.

She's gonna watch where I'm goin'.
(Where he's goin'!)
I'll go where she's knowin'.
(Where she's knowin'!)
Knows where to put her feet.
There's no need to run.
We always count our blessings
'cause together, we are able
to find time to catch each other
when the stumbling's is done.

She's gonna watch where I'm goin'.
I'll go where she's knowin'.
Knows where to put her feet.
There's no need to run.
We always count our blessings
'cause together, we are able
to find time to catch each other
when the stumbling's is done.
Of course, being an elf, she doesn't have as far to fall, and she's easier to catch. So how does she catch me when I fall? Magic, baby, Magic!

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Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Fitu Petaia - October 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Please stop calling me a SOCK. I don't like being called a sock.
Jason - October 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Im so sorry to see that you have been 1ed yet again. It seems like that you and I will never score 5s again because that 1-moron keeps enjoying voting 1 on us. And Fitu Petaia, shut up.
Arwen - October 19, 2006 - Report this comment
You know, Michael...I love it when you weasel me in any parody...but if I hadn't gotten a mention in this one, you KNOW I would have been on the war path. I mean, seriously...it could rightfully be renamed "Arwen's Anthem." I'm so glad to know that I don't have to stumble alone. =)

That having been said, I must give mention to the following lines, which I just ADORED:

And the night got deathly quiet
except for choir, background singers.

LOL!!!


p.s. Please tell me that you'll never take the advice about the velcro shoes...; )
alvin rhodes - October 19, 2006 - Report this comment
what a trip...5s
Michael Pacholek - October 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Alvin, I hope that's five cushions. Jason, you're right on both counts. Fitu, no one gives a damn. Your parodies are even worse than Jessy the Green Bloodied Hound Dog's, and I've never called you a sock, although I am telling you to put a sock in it! Arwen, I hope neither one of us gets pulled over for drunk driving, 'cause we'll never pass the test. Gives a whole new meaning to "I Walk the Line."
Fitu - October 19, 2006 - Report this comment
I voted 1s beaucause i got called a sock
AFW - October 19, 2006 - Report this comment
This Are One good parody...
Jason - October 19, 2006 - Report this comment
And you think voting 1s is a way to deal with being called a sock? My, you have one more screw loose than i thought.
Stuart McArthur - October 19, 2006 - Report this comment
well the two of you rarely stumble when there's a parody to be penned - nice job MP - 555
Spaff.com - October 19, 2006 - Report this comment
You two are such a cute couple. Love the velcro line.
Kristof Robertson - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
As a venerated writer of stumbling parodies, I can honestly say this one doesn't trip up once. Fun stuff, Mike. 555
malcolm higgins - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
falling down with laughter .....another "stumble?"
Mr. critic - November 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Fitu must be trippin. I don't think we called him a sock on here at all.

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