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Song Parodies -> "The Tumbler"
Original Song Title:
"The Gambler"
Original Performer:
Kenny Rogers
Parody Song Title:
"The Tumbler"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
OK, I know... another "Gambler" parody. I'm not addicted... I can stop doin' 'em any time...
On a warm summer's evening
In a night-club a-heaving
I came across a tumbler
On a table on its own
I could see it there, fluorescing
In the disco ultra-violet
And I wondered should I try it
Should I leave it well alone
So I said to myself
"That looks like some concoction
I've never had a drink that is
That lurid shade of pink"
But I'm feeling kinda thirsty
Reckon I've an iron stomach
And I've run clean out of money
So I guess I'll have a drink
So I went up to the table
And I had a little swallow
Straight off I felt it burnin'
As it set my throat alight
I thought "Why the hell'd I try it?"
My face lost all expression
Thought I'd name this thing a "Flameboy"
Will it burn me all the night?
You got to know when to sip it
Know when to tip it
Know what to pour away
Know what to drink
And if you spill a little
And it leaves a smokin' crater
Y'know sooner or later
It'll go right down the sink
You know this empty tumbler held
A most pe'culiar cocktail
Of something between rocket fuel
And radioactive waste
Curacao and Baileys
Gin and Chilli Vodka
And Angostura Bitters gave it
Its distinctive taste
And I think that I detected
The flavour of Scotch whisky
But my fried taste-buds could not tell
A blend from single malt
I dropped it in the darkness
The tumbler broke in pieces
I clutched my stomach, swearing, but
I guess its my own fault
You've got to know when to scoff 'em
Know when to quaff 'em
So it don't hit your mouth
Spills on the floor
If it dissolves your money
Or burns holes in the table
Guess it ain't that palatable
So don't go a-drinkin' more
You got to know when to taste it
Know when to waste it
Know when to sup away
Know when to spit
'Cause it sure ain't funny
To vomit o'er the table
So don't touch if you ain't able
And don't want to look a tit
You got to know when to sip it
Know when to tip it
Know what to pour away
Know what to drink
And if you spill a little
And it leaves a smokin' crater
Y'know sooner or later
It'll go right down the sink
In a night-club a-heaving
I came across a tumbler
On a table on its own
I could see it there, fluorescing
In the disco ultra-violet
And I wondered should I try it
Should I leave it well alone
So I said to myself
"That looks like some concoction
I've never had a drink that is
That lurid shade of pink"
But I'm feeling kinda thirsty
Reckon I've an iron stomach
And I've run clean out of money
So I guess I'll have a drink
So I went up to the table
And I had a little swallow
Straight off I felt it burnin'
As it set my throat alight
I thought "Why the hell'd I try it?"
My face lost all expression
Thought I'd name this thing a "Flameboy"
Will it burn me all the night?
You got to know when to sip it
Know when to tip it
Know what to pour away
Know what to drink
And if you spill a little
And it leaves a smokin' crater
Y'know sooner or later
It'll go right down the sink
You know this empty tumbler held
A most pe'culiar cocktail
Of something between rocket fuel
And radioactive waste
Curacao and Baileys
Gin and Chilli Vodka
And Angostura Bitters gave it
Its distinctive taste
And I think that I detected
The flavour of Scotch whisky
But my fried taste-buds could not tell
A blend from single malt
I dropped it in the darkness
The tumbler broke in pieces
I clutched my stomach, swearing, but
I guess its my own fault
You've got to know when to scoff 'em
Know when to quaff 'em
So it don't hit your mouth
Spills on the floor
If it dissolves your money
Or burns holes in the table
Guess it ain't that palatable
So don't go a-drinkin' more
You got to know when to taste it
Know when to waste it
Know when to sup away
Know when to spit
'Cause it sure ain't funny
To vomit o'er the table
So don't touch if you ain't able
And don't want to look a tit
You got to know when to sip it
Know when to tip it
Know what to pour away
Know what to drink
And if you spill a little
And it leaves a smokin' crater
Y'know sooner or later
It'll go right down the sink
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 9 | 9 | 9 |
User Comments
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"The Tumbler"? I thought this was going to be about gymnastics, and I was about to say, "Bart Conner, you lucky dog, you not only got a Gold Medal but you got Nadia Comaneci!" (She ain't 14 anymore, boys, and she turned out gooooooood.) I'll always have a soft spot for this song because it's one of the first grownup songs I can remember, and I did "The Bumbler" to it. (It ain't about Alex Rodriguez... but October will come... ) So I believe this one deserves a toast: Here's mud in your eye, and foam in your throat (to put out the fire)!
I thought it was going to be about safecracking. The combination is 5-5-5.
love the scoff 'em/quaff 'em line
Aw, you don't have to stop doin' 'em. This is great, Phil. Especially liked the "something between rocket fuel and radioactive waste" line. 555
Very refreshing parody, 555
Do they really make Chili Vodka? Rick C already mentioned my favorite line.
Table - palatable - hee hee ;-D
That Ford Prefect guy leaves his Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters all over the place, doesn't he?
RA - yes, they do: chilli vodka is very nice in small quantities (especially if you've a sore throat)
Peter - couldn't have been Ford's: I don't believe he'd have left an unfinished drink *anywhere*
Alvin - I was thinking of Pratchett: "quaffing is like drinking, but you spill more"
Rick - I do have a thought about a "Juggler" parody, somethingl like:
On a warm summer's evening
In an underground station
I came across a juggler
He was playing with his balls
...this far, it's basically true, but it needs a storyline. A parody to this OS has to have a story to it, otherwise it doesn't work properly.
Peter - couldn't have been Ford's: I don't believe he'd have left an unfinished drink *anywhere*
Alvin - I was thinking of Pratchett: "quaffing is like drinking, but you spill more"
Rick - I do have a thought about a "Juggler" parody, somethingl like:
On a warm summer's evening
In an underground station
I came across a juggler
He was playing with his balls
...this far, it's basically true, but it needs a storyline. A parody to this OS has to have a story to it, otherwise it doesn't work properly.
Heh heh *burp* 5s
Came across this parody because M&P had a half-finished one about someone who won't shut up, named The Rambler. Seeing that had been done, I looked though the others and here we are. An enjoyable read, Rick C and Red A already beat me to mentioning the favourite line, but I will put a third vote in nonetheless :)
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