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Song Parodies -> "The Gamer"

Original Song Title:

"The Gambler"

Original Performer:

Kenny Rogers

Parody Song Title:

"The Gamer"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

On a warm summer's evening
On a train bound for nowhere
I came across a gamer
Playing his GameBoy Advance
I couldn't help a-staring
O'er his shoulder at him playing
Though many hours were passing
I still stood there in a trance

He said "Pop, I've made a life
Out o' winning competitions
An' I can out-play anyone
At Super-Mar-ee-o
So, if you're really into playing
Then lose the inhibitions, and
I feel like a laugh, and so
I'll let you have a go"

So he handed me the gadget
And I started on his level
Straight off I missed the platform
And very quickly died
It was not at all impressive
I could tell by his expression
He said, if you're gonna play the GameBoy
You got to learn to play it right

You got to know when to jump 'em
Know when to thump 'em
Know when to run away
Know when to duck
You never watch your scorin'
'Cause it's most unfashionable
But you'll make that high score table
With a little bit of luck

To cut the story short
I kept falling and dying
It didn't stop me trying
But it still did no damn good
I headbutted the bullets
And tripped traps like a cretin
And I wouldn't mind a-bettin'
That wee bastard knew I would

You see, my total lack of talent
Amused the little blighter
And as he giggled, well, I felt
The anger rise in me
Ah.. this patronizing pipsqueak
He's a gamer - I'm a fighter
So I made that bloody GameBoy
An Advanced supposit'ry

You've got to know when to boot 'em
Know when to shoot 'em
Know what's a power-up
Know what's a trap
Though it's kind of funny
Watchin' someone who's unable
Don't laugh: if he's unstable
You might end up in the crap

You got to know how it's done, too
Know where to run to
Know when to hit the deck,
Know when to miss
You never laugh or giggle
When you're watching someone playing
And if you're hearing what I'm saying
You ain't gonna take the piss

You got to know when to jump 'em
Know when to thump 'em
Know when to run away
Know when to duck
You never watch your scorin'
'Cause it's most unfashionable
But you'll make that high score table
With a little bit of luck

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   23
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User Comments

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AFW - December 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Great idea, fantastic work, here....brilliantly funny....love the clever way you made the orginal 'Game. Boy' line fit right in.......atmospheric fives
Phil Alexander - December 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, AFW - That was the line that sparked it off (which won't surprise you, I guess). All I had to do was come up with a storyline :-)
Claude Prez - December 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Ditto on that, Phil. Great stuff; especially liked the "unfashion-able" part.
John Barry - December 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job, Phil. Also points out how video games have stretched the original definition of the word "gaming."
carol - December 16, 2005 - Report this comment
hilarious!! 5's
alvin rhodes - December 16, 2005 - Report this comment
a winner
Red Ant - December 16, 2005 - Report this comment
"So I made that bloody GameBoy
An Advanced supposit'ry"

Hilarious! I wouldn't be surprised to see this in SOTM.
Rick C - December 16, 2005 - Report this comment
"An Advanced supposit'ry" cracked me up. I understand the frustration. 555
Spaff.com - December 18, 2005 - Report this comment
"GameBoy" for "game, boy" is one of those lines that just begs an entire rewrite, isn't it? Excellent stuff, Philbo. And more kudos on the suppository line.
Huff - December 19, 2005 - Report this comment
I agree with all of the above. Phil did a nice job on this.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - January 07, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - If an old fart like me can dig this (and I do) it oughta power-up the young guns too, or so I hope. 555 extra lives for you.
Silver Power - January 08, 2006 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Hate the OS, love this one! 555!
bobpiecheese - January 08, 2006 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Love that 'GameBoy' bit. I played Super Mario once, and boy was it frustrating. I'm much better at Tony Hawk's myself.
Matthias - January 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Remember those games in the 80's that made you type out your adventure on your old black and green computer? Kinda like... -Enter SOTM Contest- -Enter The Gamer- -Read Song- -Laugh- -Give Fives- -Write stupid comment- -Congratulate on actually posting a song this time- -Forgive last comment, because Actor's Dilemma was good- -Leave feeling like an A-Hole-
Agrimorfee - January 09, 2006 - Report this comment
[sotm] The wife pulls out the Gameboy at home, and I don't speak to her for hours...maybe that's a good thing.
Adagio - January 12, 2006 - Report this comment
[SOTM] LOL! I liked the supposit'ry line was extra funny to me too.
2nz - January 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Kudos from this gamer. Way to embrace the gamers' world, or at least attempt to. Funny, funny stuff Phil. Now stop beating on my friends.
Spaff.com - January 22, 2006 - Report this comment
What Spaff said. And "unfashion-able" - heh heh. And "headbutted the bullets" - heh heh heh. "The Gambler" is on my MUST PARODY list; I just haven't found the right idea, and it's getting progressively harder since people like you keep coming up with all the good ones.
Phil Alexander - January 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, Spaff, as far as I can see, "The Mumbler" hasn't been taken... I'd suggest "The Stumbler", only I think that's probably Arwen territory ;-)...(and headbutting bullets is what I do best at this sort of game, but you never seem to get many points for that)
2nz - then tell your friends to stop being so d**n annoying with their GameBoys, then ;-)
Tim Mayfield - January 24, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - I am not looking forward to the day some little cretin can beat me in Super Mario Brothers... I can imagine in thirty years that the old folks home will have video game tournaments and the like. Whatever happened to the good ol' days of quilt-making and chess???
Stuart McArthur - January 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) oh great, I always watch my scoring and only NOW I find out it's unfashionable - sheesh - great idea as usual Phil, and masterful pacing and rhyming - top stuff - 555
Red Ant - January 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I still love those two lines I mentioned above. Great story too and kudos on varying the choruses. As for Tim's comment, I've beaten the original Mario Bros in less than 10 minutes (without cheat codes). Too bad it is not on inthe00s.com, I could use another champion cup. ;-)
Jack Wilson - January 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great job! 555!
Kristof Robertson - January 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) How'd I miss this? Just about perfect, Phil...a much more accomplished sequel to my "Video Games...". DIAMOND! 555
wannabemustangjockey - January 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I think this month has been my record month for DKTOS's. I'm totally lost but this is really good. *Enters cheat code for knowledge of all music*
Rick C - January 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still love the "Advanced supposit'ry" line.
Larry Hensley - January 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Funny one, many good lines. 5's
Jeff Reuben - January 31, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM: Well done, great choice for the OS for this song.
Josh 2 - January 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS but fomr the others comments im guessing its pretty good, 5s
Claude Prez - January 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Hey, now that you mention it, I submitted "The Mumbler" once, way back when the monkey room started. It got rejected because it ended abruptly in the middle of the song (See, the mumbler was an air traffic controller. Get it? Get it? It was pretty lame). Anway, still excellent.
Johnny D - January 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Brilliant Philbo, and ditto CP re: "unfashion-able". ;-)
Chris Frederick - February 01, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great parody, and impressive pacing

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