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Song Parodies -> "The Grumbler"

Original Song Title:

"The Gambler"

Original Performer:

Kenny Rogers

Parody Song Title:

"The Grumbler"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

I have some advice for the young in love. How well do you like your beloved's family? Better give it some thought.......
On a hot summer evening in a car bound for In-laws
I rode there with my husband, I knew what was coming next
Oh, how he hated my father, and my grandma drives him crazy
Only when we go to Mother's, do I see him look this vexed

He said "Dear, you are my wife, and I love you like no other
But these visits are just torture, and we go there every week
And I can't stay sober, gotta keep up with your brother
They don't die or move away, my options sure look bleak"

So I gave my usual lecture, how blood is thicker than water
He grumbled for ten minutes and then gave up the fight
Then his mouth got strangely quiet as he sunk into depression
Said "If I'm gonna live through this, I gotta plan the night"

"You got to know when to drink 'em, how to out think 'em
Know when to just say yes and know when to zip
You never talk religion when they're yelling at the table
There's no way to win the war, so just pass the dip"

Now every grumbler knows that they never win the battle
If they don't want to pay lawyers, and lose both of the boys
So he will sit at dinner, and he'll be almost civil
For the family that's together is the family that enjoys

So when the meal's over, and all but him were smoking
Every time he whispered "let's go home!" I handed him a beer
I told him it was early, and that I thought he was joking
For my Dad was telling stories really loud so all could hear

"You got to know when to drink 'em, how to out think 'em
Know when to hit the head and then close the door
You never step on Grandpa when he slumps under the table
There's no way to win the war, so just drink some more"

Last chance to listen to "The Gardner" before it slips off the recording chart.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - May 29, 2004 - Report this comment
All right, all right, if I must... you get fives. As Cleavon Little would say, "Oh, I must, I must!"
Johnny D - May 29, 2004 - Report this comment
You could start a new profession - Family Parody Therapist. 555, very clever and entertaining, Highlander.
Phil Alexander - May 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Another excellent one, Rick.
alvin rhodes - May 30, 2004 - Report this comment
too funny....i liked kenny better before he was a cowboy...by the way, if anybody wants any kenny rogers records let me know....i see about 50 of them anytime i walk into a thrift store...5s
Meriadoc - May 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Interesting Rick, that you wrote it from a woman's point of view. Did Mari help out on this one? Pippin and I have fun changing genders in our songs. But then, we would, wouldn't we? Hee hee.

And Alvin, here's a parody idea then:

"I Knew Kenny, Before He Was a Cowboy Whore..." ;-D
Rick D - May 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Come on. You people know I enjoy being a girl at least a third of the time. (Writing wise anyway) Early on, I noticed that some of my rants were funnier if I swapped genders. (Plus she sings better than me.)

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