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Song Parodies -> "The Grumbler"
Original Song Title:
"The Gambler"
Original Performer:
Kenny Rogers
Parody Song Title:
"The Grumbler"
Parody Written by:
Rick Duncan
The Lyrics
I have some advice for the young in love. How well do you like your beloved's family? Better give it some thought.......
On a hot summer evening in a car bound for In-laws
I rode there with my husband, I knew what was coming next
Oh, how he hated my father, and my grandma drives him crazy
Only when we go to Mother's, do I see him look this vexed
He said "Dear, you are my wife, and I love you like no other
But these visits are just torture, and we go there every week
And I can't stay sober, gotta keep up with your brother
They don't die or move away, my options sure look bleak"
So I gave my usual lecture, how blood is thicker than water
He grumbled for ten minutes and then gave up the fight
Then his mouth got strangely quiet as he sunk into depression
Said "If I'm gonna live through this, I gotta plan the night"
"You got to know when to drink 'em, how to out think 'em
Know when to just say yes and know when to zip
You never talk religion when they're yelling at the table
There's no way to win the war, so just pass the dip"
Now every grumbler knows that they never win the battle
If they don't want to pay lawyers, and lose both of the boys
So he will sit at dinner, and he'll be almost civil
For the family that's together is the family that enjoys
So when the meal's over, and all but him were smoking
Every time he whispered "let's go home!" I handed him a beer
I told him it was early, and that I thought he was joking
For my Dad was telling stories really loud so all could hear
"You got to know when to drink 'em, how to out think 'em
Know when to hit the head and then close the door
You never step on Grandpa when he slumps under the table
There's no way to win the war, so just drink some more"
I rode there with my husband, I knew what was coming next
Oh, how he hated my father, and my grandma drives him crazy
Only when we go to Mother's, do I see him look this vexed
He said "Dear, you are my wife, and I love you like no other
But these visits are just torture, and we go there every week
And I can't stay sober, gotta keep up with your brother
They don't die or move away, my options sure look bleak"
So I gave my usual lecture, how blood is thicker than water
He grumbled for ten minutes and then gave up the fight
Then his mouth got strangely quiet as he sunk into depression
Said "If I'm gonna live through this, I gotta plan the night"
"You got to know when to drink 'em, how to out think 'em
Know when to just say yes and know when to zip
You never talk religion when they're yelling at the table
There's no way to win the war, so just pass the dip"
Now every grumbler knows that they never win the battle
If they don't want to pay lawyers, and lose both of the boys
So he will sit at dinner, and he'll be almost civil
For the family that's together is the family that enjoys
So when the meal's over, and all but him were smoking
Every time he whispered "let's go home!" I handed him a beer
I told him it was early, and that I thought he was joking
For my Dad was telling stories really loud so all could hear
"You got to know when to drink 'em, how to out think 'em
Know when to hit the head and then close the door
You never step on Grandpa when he slumps under the table
There's no way to win the war, so just drink some more"
Last chance to listen to "The Gardner" before it slips off the recording chart.
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User Comments
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All right, all right, if I must... you get fives. As Cleavon Little would say, "Oh, I must, I must!"
You could start a new profession - Family Parody Therapist. 555, very clever and entertaining, Highlander.
Another excellent one, Rick.
too funny....i liked kenny better before he was a cowboy...by the way, if anybody wants any kenny rogers records let me know....i see about 50 of them anytime i walk into a thrift store...5s
Interesting Rick, that you wrote it from a woman's point of view. Did Mari help out on this one? Pippin and I have fun changing genders in our songs. But then, we would, wouldn't we? Hee hee.
And Alvin, here's a parody idea then:
"I Knew Kenny, Before He Was a Cowboy Whore..." ;-D
And Alvin, here's a parody idea then:
"I Knew Kenny, Before He Was a Cowboy Whore..." ;-D
Come on. You people know I enjoy being a girl at least a third of the time. (Writing wise anyway) Early on, I noticed that some of my rants were funnier if I swapped genders. (Plus she sings better than me.)
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