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Song Parodies -> "Jack Ruby Don't Take Your Gun to Town"

Original Song Title:

"Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town"

Original Performer:

Kenny Rogers

Parody Song Title:

"Jack Ruby Don't Take Your Gun to Town"

Parody Written by:

Royce Miller

The Lyrics

You've loaded up your gun
And hid it in your clothes somewhere
Ruby are you contemplating
Murder, do you dare?
To the basement of the Dallas police station you are bound
Jack Ruby--
Don't take your gun to town

Yes it's a shame
That JFK was in an open car
But now you see your chance to go
And be some kind of star
And yes, it's true that
You will now be goin' after Lee
Jack Ruby, you vigilante

It's hard to like a man
Who you think killed your JFK
But Jack, there were some others
On the grassy knoll that day
And it won't be long I've heard you say
Til Lee won't be around
Jack Ruby, don't take your gun to town

You're leaving now cause
I just heard the slamming of your door
And soon Lee Harvey Oswald will be
Dying on the floor
And then in some dark jail cell
Ole Jack Ruby will be found
Jack Ruby, don't take your gun to town

Jack Ruby, he gunned Lee Oswald down

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Johnny D - March 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah, but why did he do it?
Royce Miller - March 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny, my theory is that he (Ruby) was a link in the chain--
Johnny D - March 01, 2004 - Report this comment
You betcha, Royce.
Robert J. Pagliaro - March 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I heard that Roger McDowell was on the second spitter on the grassy knoll.
Polly the Parrot - March 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I remember reading something about this in the newspaper on the bottom of my cage. It was a real shitty time, if memory serves me well.
Royce Miller - March 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Polly---You're doing alot of chirping today; your comments have a familiar ring to them....well, it'll just be a little mystery-take care.
alvin rhodes - March 01, 2004 - Report this comment
nice one....5s all the way
Jerry Seinfeld - March 01, 2004 - Report this comment
That was some magic lugie.5un-needed bullets for jack's gun.
Guy - March 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I can remember seeing tthis on live TV when I was a kid. This was in the 60s and it blew my mind. An actual shooting on TV. And yes they played it over and over and over and over again. Great parody Royce. If this parody were a poker hand, you'd have 5 jacks.
John Jenkins - March 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes, we might have gotten to the bottom of the assassination if Jack Ruby had not pulled the trigger. Good, thought-provoking parody, Royce.
Paul Robinson - March 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Royce, Excellent parody! Gave me a chill and brought back the memories. Yes, like Guy I was watching this "live" on TV...I was 13 and usually worked Saturday's at our family business but I was too upset by the assassination of Kennedy the day before to go to work. So I was staring at the TV watching Oswald being brought into the basement of the Dallas station and it was just like you put it. Little did I know this whole tragic episode would set in motion a tumultous decade of assassination and upheaval. I would like to think that whatever good changes came out of the sixties would have happened anyway without these awful things...Thanks.
Royce Miller - March 02, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks for the nice comments, guys
Peregrin - March 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice one Royce!
Claude Prez - March 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Five slugs to the gut for you missy
mac - March 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done, Royce.
ParodyKeet - March 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Very profound. Amiright ought really to have a division for serious parodies, this is brilliant. I was doubting if I could have written 'Wish Someone Had Saved Your Life' about another famous murder (to that Elton John song with the chorus 'Someone saved my life tonight') because I was not sure that Amiright was the place.
royce miller - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
ParodyKeet--well it seems to happen that people just write what they are thinking, and even though it's serious and not funny, people still read the parodies and appreciate the serious ones, so why not just write the one you've mentioned?
Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Royce is right, ParodyKeet, nothin' wrong with serious parodies at all, write 'em myself sometimes.
Paul Robinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent suggestion, Royce. ParodyKeet - It's always a good idea to find an outlet where you can express your thoughts and there are folks around to read them. Nobody on this site thinks the world is entirely fun and games (well, maybe me in some of my loonier moments). We come here for fun, yes, but we know the human heart enough to realize that it works best when it's nourished with a proper diet. I see a lot of deep feelings and emotions roll across my screen here and I probably have left a larger trail of them than most. Hey, if you put out something serious and someone is not in the mood all they have to do is skip right over and past it...Looking forward to reading your piece.
Adagio - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, on your last comment, I agree wholeheartedly. I have put my share of serious stuff in here, even parodies that mean something only to me.
Joseph Hayes - March 11, 2004 - Report this comment
A facinating read on what will remain fascinating to all the future scholars of this strange saga. It's hard to be funny on this type of parody but you did a good job on this. I know you have written other songs about the Kennedy assassination. One always does a better job on their things of interest and you certainly produced on of the best recent parodies.
Amber - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
I think it is good i like it all lot

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