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Song Parodies -> "Killing Children (Wanton murder)"

Original Song Title:

"Merry Christmas (War is Over)"

Original Performer:

John Lennon

Parody Song Title:

"Killing Children (Wanton murder)"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

A word of warning: this one isn't funny. In fact, it's probably the most unfunny thing I've ever written. I can find humour in most things, but not this.

Children die in Baghdad car bomb

I heard this on the news while driving home, and it was enough to make me pull over to the side of the road - from eyewitness accounts, the bomber intentionally drove into a crowd of children surrounding some US soldiers before detonating, killing at least 24 children. It actually makes me wish there was a hell, so this sick, murdering idiot could burn there for eternity.
So you kill children
It's sick, and it's dumb
Another life over
Before it had begun
You're blowing up children
And what had they done?
They never had hurt you
Those innocent young

How many dead children
Will we see this year
By suicide bombers
Who kill without fear?

And so you kill children (wanton murder)
What good have you done? (what I call it)
Just what is made better? (wanton murder)
You're so very wrong
D'you think killing children's (wanton murder)
What Allah desires? (what I call it)
You're so very stupid (wanton murder)
Believing those liars

And 'cause you kill children
[I] wish there was a Hell
So that you could burn there
Your leaders as well

And so you kill children (wanton murder)
What good has it done? (what I call it)
How many lives better? (wanton murder)
Just work it out: None.
You died killing children (wanton murder)
They'll never have fun (what I call it)
It's too late to find out (wanton murder)
You're wrong all along

So I'll cuddle my children
Again, and again
Maybe shed a tear, in
Relief it's not them

Wanton murder's what I call it...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   21

User Comments

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Rick C - July 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Heartfelt and touching, Phil...555
alvin rhodes - July 14, 2005 - Report this comment
sorry you had to write this one but you pulled it off sensitively...5s
pickle - July 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I feel angry myself at the bombers who did London coming from an area I go to regularly. I saw the above story in the paper and was disgusted.
Teddy Bear - July 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Johnny D - July 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Heavy-duty & heartfelt, Philbo.
Phil Alexander - July 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, guys. It'll be a relief to get back to good ol' G&S - I've been writing too much depressing stuff recently.
Stray Pooch - July 14, 2005 - Report this comment
The worst part, in some ways at least., is that this person really did feel that he was somehow doing something heroic. One of the mothers whose son is in the hospital said "If my son dies I will drink of Al Zaqwari's blood!" The AP is reporting that support for bin Laden is dropping throughout most of the middle east. These SOBs are trying to get a revolution going. If this continues they are gonna get just that. And they won't like it. Very well done, Phil.
Peter Andersson - July 15, 2005 - Report this comment
What Stray Pooch said.
Dominic L. - August 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, I didn't think i was too funny... 534
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Truly heartfelt work, Phil.
Phil Alexander - August 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Dominic - if you'd read my intro, you would have realized it wasn't going to be. Like I say, I can see the funny side of most things, even "run-of-the-mill" suicide bombing, but someone who intentionally heads into a crowd of children before blowing himself up... I'm afraid my head just can't cope with how anyone can be that mind- and heartless.
Dumb Ass Kid - August 05, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] A touching and outstanding parody, Phil 515
Adagio - August 08, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] DKTOS, but a very heartfelt parody...thanks. (5's anyway)
Scathe - August 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Woah.
karen - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
O.K. so I'm sitting at my desk in tears thanks to this one Philbo
Agrimorfee - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM} Won't win song of the month, to be sure, but needs its own honor. No punches pulled here.
Phil Alexander - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Sorry, Karen. And, yes Agrimorfee, I know, but I wanted to submit this one 'cause it's one of the very few truly moving songs I've written, and it's something I feel rather strongly about.
Jeff Reuben - August 12, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM: Deep, and makes the point you were going for.
Tim Mayfield - August 19, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Reminds me of some of the Vietnam images where children were used to deliver grenades to unsuspecting American forces.
Red Ant - August 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Truly hearfelt Phil. This is one the voting system just doesn't work. I'd give you a 20 for overall if I could, but the only real number that matters here is the death toll from this horrible act. Perhaps this story might brighten your day: "Living On Zionist Time":
Phil Alexander - August 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for that link, Red Ant: it's a story I remember hearing a few years ago - I'm not surprised that it hit the Darwin Awards, though. Maybe it would be worth a "Make my bomb go off on time" to the tune of "Get me to the church on time" parody...
Johnny D - August 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above
Peter Andersson - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - Not much left to say.
Melhi - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You weren't going for funny, so I rated that category on whether you accomplished what (I thought) you were going for, instead... and you were right on target. I can't help but think Lennon would very much like what you've done with his song.
Stuart McArthur - August 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) and all in the interests of gaining a gold pass to heaven - where, ironically, when it's discovered you're stupid enough to belief the manipulative "martyr spin" and taken innocent lives to boot, no religion's heaven's going to let you in
Arwen - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--I don't feel like there is anything I can say to do this justice. It's just as moving as anything I've ever read, Phil...excellent work.
Adam Eccleshall - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I substitued "funny" for "moving" in voting for this. Very few songs move me like this did... very well done.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still a great example of the power of parody.
Rick C - August 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above.

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