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Song Parodies -> "Zealous Guy"

Original Song Title:

"Jealous Guy"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

John Lennon

Parody Song Title:

"Zealous Guy"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Narrator? Can you guess?
I will put you in a cast
and your life will never last.
God have mercy on your soul.
God have mercy on your soul.

I'm really going to hurt you.
I really gonna make you cry.
I really want to hurt you.
I'm just a zealous guy.

I was feeling insecure.
Your same-sex marriage isn't pure.
You were giving me the creeps.
You were giving me the creeps.

I'm really going to hurt you.
I really gonna make you cry.
I really want to hurt you.
I'm just a zealous guy.

(whistling over next verse)

I'm really going to hurt you.
I really gonna make you cry.
I really want to hurt you.
I'm just a zealous guy.

Only women marry guys.
You'll get an October surprise.
You'll be suffering some pain.
You'll be suffering some pain.

I'm really going to hurt you.
I really gonna make you cry.
I really want to hurt you.
I'm just a zealous guy.
Watch out.
I'm just a zealous guy.
Look out, fairy.
I'm just a zealous guy.
Huge reason to vote for John Kerry: The next Attorney General will NOT be this song's narrator, John Ashcroft.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
well paced and a good subject...this country has a lot worse things to worry about then gay marriage
Your Worst Nightmare - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I know I'm probably going to regret getting into my jillionth argument today, but look at the topic of gay marriage. I once heard someone say, "What if you couldn't marry anyone who didn't have the same eye color?? It doesn't matter about details, if it's true love, act on it." Ok, I guess this means it's also acceptable to have seven wives, marry animals, and incest is fine by all means. Speaking of which, in India, a young man married his 83 year old grandmother. WHAT? You don't APPROVE of that? What kind of insensitive, judgemental, supremacist mongrel ARE you!?!?!? Marriage is a bond between a man and a woman. And considering the incident brought up, I'll throw in that it's a bond between a man and a woman that aren't related.
Reality Check - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't worry guys, I think YWN is pissed because he married his sister, which is probably legal in Alabama.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
... I can't believe all you can say in argument is make a lame attack joke on my state.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I just thought, what makes Reality Check's comment interesting is my sister already is married. Hmmm....
neminem - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, reality check's comment was just stupid. The best way to counter immaturity is not with even worse immaturity *rolls eyes*. Personally, I feel that if you and someone else have mutual romantic feelings for each other, you should be allowed to legally express those feelings, regardless of *anything*. Now, humans have evolved so as to not have romantic feelings for close relatives (yes, I know, you don't believe in evolution, so if you want to substitute "god made people" I won't stop you) because their kids would more likely suffer from recessive genetic disorders, and we are also generally quite monogamous when it comes to steady relationships, but if two (or in the latter case, n) people are different from the normal human, I feel they should be allowed to do what they want. Bestiality is entirely irrelevant, as animals are not considered of human intelligence, and therefore are not considered to have given consent. Only *mutual* bonds, remember.
Phil Alexander - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
IMO, I can't see any reason for the state to get involved: nobody else is being hurt in any way, the only people feeling offended are those going out of their way to look into something that doesn't affect them at all.

Have to admit I didn't peg the narrator as Ashcroft specifically: there were too many candidates to pick just the one ;-) Not laugh-out-loud funny, but a good parody
Your Worst Nightmare - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Gah, you pegged me with your "I believe we evolved" speech. So this is an entirely different door of opportunity to argue. Darwin, if you didn't know, was a white supremacist. He wrote that some races are more superior than others. Therefore, to believe in evolution, is believing in supremacy over other races.
Phil Alexander - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
You can be quite tiresomely inaccurate, YWN. Please check before posting this sort of crap.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, I'm just saying what Darwin said. He said that in evolution, human races evolved, and I think he believed that the most superior one was the white race.
Paul Robinson - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael, Nice job. 5's...Geez, even though I'm not gay I have this urge to ask you to marry me just to set off YWN (sorry, I can't help it sometimes). Yes, I am just kidding. I could never live on the East Coast - way too cold in the Winter, way too muggy in the summer (especially August, ICK!!). Can anyone tell me why every time the topic of gay marriage comes up some Religious-Right Christian always injects bestiality into the conversation. Are there some hidden urges lurking in those tightly wound psyches? OH-OH, now my DOG is really pissed at me. My gay marriage stance had given him some hope. Sorry, Fido - now if you were a bitch, maybe I'd consider...OH...wait, I just made all that up, too. I don't even have a dog, either. I'm sorry, I can't help. I've been trying to catch up on the comments section remarks and I've seen SO many of YWN's ludicrous statements so far today that I just had to take a few minutes and thoroughly ridicule some of them.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, well, you know I'm just incorrigible with that sort of thing. And I was starting to get freaked out when you started talking about having an urge...
MrMacphisto - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
This may be a bit off-topic, but it seems ironic that YWN would claim that Darwin was a white supremacist, considering his Republican leanings. You know, a lot of Republicans are white supremacists, like Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, I'm not, Mac. The republican party is against special treatment for different skin colors. What's up with black scholarships? Believe it or not, that is racist, and if there were white scholarships, everyone would point it out as racist too.
Michael Pacholek - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Now, now, let us not jump all over YWM. That's his wife/sister's job. Besides, he's only 13! (Marrying at that age is legal in the land of the Rolling Tide.) Paul: I'm flattered, but I'm not that kind of guy. Besides, how would they toast me at the wedding? "Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson!" And then I'd have to invest in "plastics," if you know what I mean. Newsflash: Rush Limbaugh's third marriage is over. I guess we finally have an example of a right-winger's marriage made invalid by gay marriage! Now, why would Marta leave Rush? Did she tell him she was voting for Kerry? Did she refuse to get him more pills? Is he putting the weight back on? Did Howard Stern give her a better offer? Or is she just a Philadelphia Eagles fan who couldn't take it anymore?
Your Worst Nightmare - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
So this is what happens when I try to explain my view. My state gets attacked, it is explained that evolution made people smart enough to not fall in love with relatives, but still dumb enough to do so with their own sex, and finally dismissed as the writings of a 13 year old radical. At least neminem (even though I still see him as wrong) has some maturity.
Jared - September 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Shut up, Kid. One of my best online friends isa lesbian, and she should have the right to marry another woman if that's what she wants.....Jackass.

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