Oh my love, for the first time here tonight
My fly is wide open
Oh my lover since my pants were way too tight
I can finally pee

I've had to go since we left the disco
But I couldn't get my zipper down
I tried to wait, but we left far too late
That's why there's a puddle on the ground

Oh my love, I was in some great distress
Now the floodgates are wide open
Oh my lover, I am weighing two pounds less
Now I finally peed

I feel the click, oh I feel the cuffs
Public urination is a crime
I feel the bars, oh I feel a search
Guess I'll wear a catheter next time