Blowing up sponge cake
Steppin' on the rake
All of the gimmicks, bein' a foil
Getting' a poked eye
From that old Moe guy
Join the team, never getting' the goil

Need a replacement Stooge, that Joe DiRita will
First Curly died, that wasn't his fault
Some people say that the best went away
And we know the best we exalt

With Larry he's hangin'
The heads they are bangin'
Black n' white shows, where the comedy's low
He wasn't a Howard
But never a coward
Following Shemp and that other Joe

Need a replacement Stooge, that Joe DiRita will
First Curly died, that wasn't his fault
Some people say that the best went away
And we know the best we exalt

I watched 'em do plumbing
I knew what was coming
On my ass, I was laughing so hard
Now they'rre knocking a noggin'
Down steps they toboggan
Could that old street be Hollywood boulevard?

Watchin' away the last of what was Vaudeville
Surfin' T.V. for some comic assault
Total buffoons, they're a real life cartoon
And please don't
Keep those films in the vault