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Song Parodies -> "The Perils of Overdosing on Kaolin and Morphine"

Original Song Title:

"Without You"

Original Performer:

Harry Nilsson

Parody Song Title:

"The Perils of Overdosing on Kaolin and Morphine"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Morphine, like the rest of the opiates, has a constipating effect... kaolin is basically clay. K&M is something you take if (not to put too fine a point on it) you have a dose of the runs. An overdose is a VERY bad idea...
No, I shouldn't have been quaffin'
All that kaolin an' morphine
The inevitable thing has come to pass
For it feels like I've a cork stuffed up my arse
What a disas

Now I need a bigger hole in
The bottom end of my colon
Tried irrigation, but it was too slow
And now it's only fair that I should let you know
I need to go

I can't shit.. I'm sitting here on the loo
I can't shit, I can't sit here no more
I can't shit - I cannot shit a canoe
I can't shit.. I can't shit anymore

No, I can't explain the pain as
I squeeze something out my anus
I think might have been a football from its girth
Now I know just how it feels when giving birth
To the whole damn Earth

I can't shit.. bin sitting here since ten to
I can't shit, I can't sit down no more
I can't shit - I cannot shit all Peru
I can piss... I just pissed on the floor

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Fiddlegirl - July 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Totally tasteless, tacky and sophomoric... But I'll admit to giggling all the way through- especially at the end-line twist!
Andy Primus - July 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Disgustingly funny
MrMacphisto - July 13, 2009 - Report this comment
LOL... nice...
alvin - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
fit the mournful tone of the OS
Phil Alexander - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks, guys

Alvin - the idea for this one came when listening to the OS (not sure whose version - it wasn't the Nilsson one, though), and I couldn't help but think it sounded like the singer was constipated.. this kind of wrote itself after that.

...even performed this one twice over the weekend :-)

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