I'm havin' problems with some o' my roomies
When I open up the fridge it seems like
Every day-yay-yay-yay, yeah
There's somethin' missin' from the shelf that's s'posed to be
Set aside for me--
"What the f#@&! No way-ay-ay!"

Cheese gone! No pie! Oh, why?
There's no salami or steak!
Cheese gone! No fries! Oh, why?
Even the label couldn't save it!
Cheese gone! No rye!
That's so wroooooong!

It sucks to share a refrigerator
Never knowin' when your roommates might be
In or out, yay-yay-yay, yeah
I stick my head in, all I smell is memories
They must dig my chow,
Of that there can
Be no dou-oubt!

Cheese gone! No Thai! Oh, why?
The gorgonzola I saved!
Cheese gone! Those guys! They lied!
This tofurella can't replace it!
Cheese gone! Fromage
That was stroooooong!

(Extended bassoon solo, morphing to piccolo solo as key goes up about 15 octaves)

Brie's g-o-o-o-one, oh, why, oh why?
I never once got a taste!
Tea's gone! Bone-dry! Oh, why?
I'll punch my roomies in their faces!
Ghee's go-o-o-o-one, oh, why, oh why?
I thought the Gouda was safe!
Cheese gone! Beans gone! Greens gone! Cream's gone! Oh, why?
Stuff disappears without a trace!

Cheese go-o-o-o-one, oh, why, oh why?......