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Song Parodies -> "Blow Off Safeway"

Original Song Title:

"Go Your Own Way"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Fleetwood Mac

Parody Song Title:

"Blow Off Safeway"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

Mari and I hate Safeway. The music is loud and contains subliminal and overt ads for their stores and products. The employees are overly helpful and smiling because they are brainwashed and pressured by store managment. They get in trouble if they don't obey the "Four Foot Rule" where they have to ask you constantly if you need help, and they get your name of the computer and call you by it, to engender "that warm friendly feeling." Some of you may ask, "Well what's wrong with that?" Try this at a Safeway. Tell one of the helpful employees that as a customer, you want them to say "Find your own groceries, Buddy, and kiss off!". If you can get them to do this, you will see the first genuine smile from a Safeway employee.
Shopping here
Isn't the right place, I fear
Frozen food, frozen faces
Everywhere

They are trained
By masters of mind control
"How can I
Help you to find anything?”

You can blow off Safeway
Muzak they play
Advertisments
Is what they blast all day
You should blow off Safeway
Run far away

What you see
Plastic people around
Four foot rule
Forfeit all their human free will too

Made of wood
Act as if they know your name
Membership
It's an old con man's shell game

You can blow off Safeway
Muzak they play
Advertisments
Is what they blast all day
You should blow off Safeway
Run far away

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Claude Prez - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Hmm, I don't know if we have Safeway in Indiana. Your little trick almost makes me wish we did though; good stuff.
Jonathan C. - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Claude: There are Safeways in Indianapolis, but they are called Preston-Safeway (after the merger with Preston Foods), and are locally owned and operated.
Rick D - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
If they are locally managed, they probably won't share that oppressive managment style. I'm talking about the ones in California.
Tim Hall - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Safeway owns Vons in southern California and Las Vegas. They are not perfect, but beat the hell out of Albertsons.
Adagio - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Rick, best to ignore stuff you don't like, unless they force you to shop there. :D When I'm in my "shopping mode", I pay attention to nothing else but the food I'm to get.
pickle - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Morrison's took over Safeway in the UK. I always hated the Leeds branch of Safeway as I had to queue for ages.
Johnny D - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
"Welcome (buy) to Safeway! May I (spend) help (buy more) you find (spend more) anything, sir? We're very (BUY MORE!!) happy (SPEND MORE!!) to be able to (BUY BUY BUY!!!) serve you (SPEND SPEND SPEND!!!) today!"
Kristof Robertson - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Geez Rick, you should check out Safeway in the UK...Yes, the staff may be genuine...genuinely monosyllabic, disinterested and generally socially retarded. I'd trade plastic courtesy for that any day; but I guess as a non-American, it's still kind of a novelty for me. btw, great parody. 555
Mike - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Sounds like somebody's a tad bit jealous. Maybe cause when they applied there, they found out they were'nt qualified enough to work there, or is it a disgruntled ex-employee who didn't have enough skill to break the ranks of Courtesy Clerks. Are you one of those people from wal-mart who don't care about helping customers. Whats with the Fleetwood Mac? It is'nt the 70's, take a look at your calender its 2005. I dont know where you shop, but i feel sorry for you. Safeway...... Love It..... Or leave it!
Red Ant - March 06, 2005 - Report this comment
IKTOS, not my favorite Fleetwood Mac song by any stretch, but 555 for you, perhaps you are very correct as the Safeway here closed several years ago.
Red Ant to Mike - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah its not the 70's, and it's definately not the 60's either. As of this post there are over 1000 Beatles parodies alone, not counting ANYTHING else submitted by any group from the 60's. By the way, Safeway maybe be the only place the can go get food, as Wal-Mart hasn't monopolized America...yet.

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