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Song Parodies -> "Kan Tocky Main"

Original Song Title:

"Kentucky Rain"

Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:

"Kan Tocky Main"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

For a Youtube listen to the OS of "Kentucky Rain" sung by Elvis Presley, click HERE

Settin'in his ways, and he doesn't sounds you know,
His speech out of sight, WAY southern drawn.
Don't know why from run, are you humming son or numb?
I don't know - do you want a ringy phone?

So he's talkin', he ain't plain, somethin' ain't a right,
He said only "kan tocky" [yack mode].
This rubbed me much too wrong, He blubs too long,
He gets word "no", ever blowing the same song.

"Kan tocky main" keeps pouring on,
What's in his head? another clown what I'm do talkin' to?
Is his brain in his shoes? (brain in his shoes?) Lurchin' his spew,
Again I'm told "kan tocky main" Gettin' old "kan tocky", 'splain?

Get a photograph, just the same say - heared it 'gain,
Spittin' some kind French was that a bab-able slur?
He said "Si' 'sta aqui",
"Tu hable mi no o si'?"
Was that "yes" you say, or "wait here as you were"?

Kindly please abide, put a teacher man to task,
Well renowned in touch to mold your English tune.
You can throve on talkin' Spain, try to listen I will 'splain,
'Cause he doesn't know what's where, his word blind view.

"No my yob main" keeps roaring on,
What's in his head? Another clown what I'm do talkin' to?
He can't 'splain, what to do? ('splain, what to do?) Surgin' his spew,
Again I'm told "kan tocky main" Gettin' old "kan tocky", 'splain?

OK, I get "can't talkie"; 'Splain?
And, I get that "man" is "main"
Lurchin' that spew (Lurchin' that spew)
I'll just fold - "kan tocky main" (fold - "kan tocky main")...

------ TO FADE ------

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

adagio - January 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Seems that man talks gibberish. Well done parody, even if I couldn't understand the Spanish parts. 5's
Guy - January 02, 2008 - Report this comment
So - You Ken- a-see the point then 'cept for da 'splainin' parts en Espanol? No matter neither could the guy trying to understand him. Check message board - It is the song for the ABC (K) round.. Thanks Pat.
John Barry - January 02, 2008 - Report this comment
There's an ESL in Elvis.
alvin - January 02, 2008 - Report this comment
i don't know much spanish either but i can follow it better than listening to someone with a drawl....y'all.....funny concept
Guy - January 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Alvin - Yeah but this was a south of the border southern draw. WAY south. I actually got the idea for this from a co-worker who is Puerto Rican and he told me about Kan Tocky. This is after I told him about answering the phone when solicitors call and talking Japanese. It works sometimes like a reverse Jerky Boys prank. I am going to have to start recording these calls and posting them on youtube or some such place.

Thanks for the comment Alvin.
Guy - January 02, 2008 - Report this comment
John - Thanks for viewing and commenting. ESL??? English Second Language??? Interesting. Thanks.
AFW - January 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Contrary to Johnny Mercer's great lyrical advice...sometimes "The accent-you-ate is negative.."..5's to y'awl
Guy - January 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey Farce - That's axsen-sational! Thankey Y'all, yous and yins, And you to Farce. I'm watching a rerun of NCIS and they are investigating deaths on none other than "Air Force One". They made an error by calling the plane Air Force One while it was on the ground. Air Force One is the designation of any plane the pres. is on. The producer of that show is from my home town. Donald P Bellisario will be receiving a call from me.
John Jenkins - January 02, 2008 - Report this comment
It's no my yob to give this parody 5s. It's my pleasure.
Guy - January 03, 2008 - Report this comment
JJ - It was from my yob that gave me this idea. So I guess it was my job main. Thanks, JJ.
LadyCupCakes - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Guy, ~ Le Marquis de Parodise aux USAF ~ over the christmas break my Roman nephew, Squire Milo, Prince of DownLoads, located your Battle dress Patch! You hold the keys to my heart, Sir Guy!
Matthias - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Sorry Guy, I normally love your work, but after reading this one I was just confused....
Guy - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
LCC - You mean the one with the horsey on it? Tis the knight's horse that hastens him to battle and in chess is a stealthy manuverer. Is it the one that looks like what's on this link?

Matt - What can I say. It is just a simple idea of two guys who speak two different languages trying to bridge the language barrier. Nothing more. I actually wrote it for my Puerto Rican friend who thought it was really funny. Oh well, I enter the contests for the fun of it. Sorry it didn't trip your trigger. Thanks for your honesty, friend.
LadyCupCakes - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Give me a little more time, Sir, to research such a long link . . . I usualy don't have the time here at work, to 'cook links' ; so I let young Squire Milo do it for me.
littleCupcakes - January 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Guy, I'm still at work . . slaving over a hot fax machine!! But here it is Let me know if this is correct. I agree, that it is quite classic in appearance for a Brave Knight o'Parody!!
Guy - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
LCC - That is the current patch worn by the Air Force Intellegence Agency otherwise known as AIA. I departed from the USAF before the Electronic Security Command (ESC) was dumbed down to an agency. Although AIA basically does the same things that ESC did the patch is a wee bit different. The one I wore can be viewed at this URL:

Essentially it is the same patch just with a different name. I think it is the best looking patch that the USAF has and I have several of them, one of which is still on my BDU uniform and still has the old Master Sergeant stripes on it. I believe the horse is on the patch as a symbol of a knighted warrior and that in chess the knight is less predictable to ones opponent than are the other pieces because of the way it is allowed to move. Our business was to be unpredictable to our opponents because our mission depended on it.
Red Ant - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
(K) Sounds like trying to talk to the guineamen here. I can always follow your lyrics, Guy, even to songs one that were DKTOS 5 minutes ago. Lot of good word play here: I'm sure I've missed some even after a second read (the 'Franglish' is lost on me though). Fifes.
stuart mcarthur - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4K) your ability with foreign languages is amazing, Guy, as is your syllable-matching - funny read - 555
Below Average Dave ( - January 23, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABCK) I think your rhyming was very strong here, can't say anything on pacing . . .As for humor, I have to admit I didn't fully get into it, but as I said, your following of the rhyme scheme makes it very easy to read your work, which is a great thing from the view point of a recording artist. I'm not big on syllable matching, but in this particular parody it was so spot on I could have mistaken this for the OS.
Agrimorfee - January 23, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC3or4? lost track!) Well, the pacing is definitely spot on. The problem here is that the complex poeticism and intentional poor grammar would really be lost on anyone who doesn't get the joke behind it. As it was with me and others here.
Cat - January 23, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) So you're trying to make fun of his slurred accent, eh? Sorry, I kinda lost the story, but I can certainly sympathize as a Midwesterner. =P
Mikey Squirrel - January 23, 2008 - Report this comment
ABC- I had to read this one a second time through, and I admit I'm still a little lost. But don't forget, I'm Canadian, and we all talk up here like wer'e always asking a Still, very funny stuff, Guy.

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