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Song Parodies -> "Steamed Coulter Blues"

Original Song Title:

"Steamroller Blues"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:

"Steamed Coulter Blues"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Elvis sang the original at his 1973 Hawaii concert-by-satellite. Believe it or not, it was written by James Taylor. Probably after a really good night with Carly Simon. (Still a pretty good idea if you ask me!)
(instrumental opening)

Well, she's steamed, Coulter baby.
The words just roll right out her mouth.

Well, she's steamed, Coulter baby.
The words just roll right out her mouth.

She's gonna infect your soul
with logic full of holes
and bigotry right from Old South.

She's a cement-header
churning out some right-wing bunk.

She's a cement-header
churning out some right-wing bunk.

She's a desperation derby
a skinny pole of fascist junk.

Play it, James!
(James Burton's guitar licks will have to be REALLY nasty
to match Ann's rhetoric, but I think he's up to the task!)

Well, she's steamed, Coulter baby!
The words just roll right out her mouth!

Well, she's steamed, Coulter baby!
The words just roll right out her mouth!

She's gonna infect your soul
with logic full of holes
and bigotry right from Old South!

She's a napalm talker!
(Napalm talker!)
Guaranteed to blow your mind!
(Blow your mind!)

She's a napalm talker!
(Napalm talker!)
Guaranteed to blow your mind!
(Blow your mind!)

If she keeps talking that trash, baby
GOP leaves her behind!

(instrumental close)
Well, the Grand Old Party (the Republicans) would have left her behind after her post-9/11 remarks, or at least after ripping the 9/11 widows, if they were smart. You know what they say: "Vote Republican, it's easier than thinking." Of course, they come right back with, "Vote Democratic, it's easier than getting a job." But then, if getting a job was easy, we wouldn't need Democrats.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.0
How Funny: 2.0
Overall Rating: 2.0

Total Votes: 30

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   21
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 21
 
 2   1
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 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 2
 2
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
love it 5s plus
2Eagle - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
A steamroller would make you think of Ann Coulter.
John Barry - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
I wouldn't steam her. No meat on those bones.
Linda - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
It's tough for you folk who lack sense of humor and who are so fearful of Ann Coulter huh? What a miserable little feeling for you poor liberals
Paul Robinson - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Well, I mostly agree, Michael...except Coulter grew her bigotry somewhere other than the Old South...I believe she's (shudder) from my very own Home State of Connecticut. 5's ~ ~ ~
Yoidy - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
I'd like to see a steamroller roll over Coulter! 555
Michael Pacholek - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Yes, Paul, she's from Connecticut. She puts the NUT in the Nutmeg State. But I needed a rhyme for "The words just roll right out her mouth," and the bigotry matches. Linda: What does Ann have that I should be afraid of? Oh yeah, her breath. (That originally came out "What does Linda have..." A Freudian typo! What the hell, it probably also applies!)
Michael Pacholek - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Paul, you're not gonna wanna hear this, but you have a right to know: I just found out Scooter Libby is also from Connecticut, born in 1950 in New Haven. I'm sorry. Then again, Bush himself was born in New Haven. I've been to the Yale-New Haven Hospital, and would you believe there's nothing to indicate that it's a Presidential Birthplace? It's still a working hospital, so they can't turn it into a museum. But there isn't even a historical marker or anything like that. Nothing. The elder Bush's birthplace in Milton, Massachusetts, outside Boston, is still a private home, and at last check, it didn't have a marker, either. But at least theirs are still standing. The hospital where Clinton was born was torn down before he began his campaign!
Paul Robinson - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Coulter AND Scooter AND Junior??? And Scooter was of 1950 vintage (same as "moi")? The HORROR...well, at least they weren't from Norwalk, CT...were they?
Michael Pacholek - March 08, 2007 - Report this comment
No, but you have to go through Norwalk, and Greenwich where Ann and Daddy Bush both grew up, to get from New Haven to New York on I-95 or Metro-North.
parody critic - April 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Yeah, that's right. Us stupid knuckle dragging Neanderthals out here in flyover country don't have the brains that Richard Dawkins gave you baby-aborting, homo-promoting, marriage destroying, morality mocking military hating, flag-burning geniuses. Isn't that a wonderful thing to be, a person, a party, a mentality with not one shred of honor that curses everything virtuous. By the way, the song is totally assinine! I give zero for creativity. I think it was simply a throw together job with almost zero thought in order for you to boast that you had another parody.

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