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Song Parodies -> "Learn This Phone"

Original Song Title:

"Turn To Stone"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Electric Light Orchestra

Parody Song Title:

"Learn This Phone"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

These mobile phones we employ now,
(I quite resigned the chore)
I turned the ding dong way down low.
(Burnin', I'm burnin'-burnin)

Confound it though it blows my mind,
(The phone pros make it play right)
Tried everything can not contrive.
(This brave new phone)

Can't learn this phone, can't turn it on,
What's roaming zone?
No dial tone, can't be calling home.
Can't turn it on.

I'm trying numbers left and right,
(I tire but slowly skate along)
Still do not spawn a call all night.
(Burnin', I'm burnin'-burnin)

I'm wired, beat and fried, okay?
(Got here but have a ways to go)
Tolls blast it snores but that's the way.
(This brave new phone)

Can't learn this phone, can't turn it on,
No dial tone.

Can't learn this phone, what is this roaming zone?
Can't turn it on.

Can't learn this phone, can't turn it on,
No dial tone.

whoops, it turned on it's own and it ain't calling home
Sounds like it's calling Rome and it's dialing all zones
And the beeping goes long and the beeps hurry on
Oops, it's burning, It's burning
It's burning the phone

Sounds like I've reached the Taj Mahal,
(That last step caused this call)
Sorry, number must be wrong.
(I'm burnin', burnin')

Screwed, call transmited what's the rate?
(I'll burn this phone, I'll burn this phone)
I am concerned how much I pay.
(With my new phone)

Can't learn this phone, can't turn it on,
What's roaming zone?
No dial tone, can't be calling home.
Can't turn it on.

Can't learn this phone, can't turn it on,
No dial tone.

Can't learn this phone, can't turn it on,
What's roaming zone?
No dial tone, can't be calling home.
Can't turn it on.

Can't learn this phone, can't turn it on,
No dial tone.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   3
 2
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Peregrin - August 18, 2003 - Report this comment
I liked it Guy
Bubba - August 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Very good job with a song that could be difficult to pace. Gotta love those cell phones. Might be interesting to try something with "Telephone Line"...
Wild Man - August 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Good job Guy!
Pat - August 18, 2003 - Report this comment
I listened to the song while reading the words...brilliant!
Meriadoc - August 18, 2003 - Report this comment
I especially loved the bridge! Hilarious!
Guy DiRIto - August 18, 2003 - Report this comment
I can't stand it any longer - Did I make it obvious as to what the bridge was really suppossed to be?
Robert J. Pagliaro - August 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Oh yeah - took a cue from Pat and put on the CD - very funny. What bridge?
Guy DiRito - August 18, 2003 - Report this comment
I think Meri was referring to this part: whoops, it turned on it's own and it ain't calling home Sounds like it's calling Rome and it's dialing all zones And the beeping goes long and the beeps hurry on Oops, it's burning, It's burning It's burning the phone
Guy DiRito - August 18, 2003 - Report this comment
If anyone wants to hear this song you can find it here: http://damz.damnserver.com/E-H.htm
Robert J. Pagliaro - August 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Don't make me end my sentences with one of those stupid "smiley" emoticons, ok?
Guy DiRito - August 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Oops my bad. Bridge is a realitively new term to me. In fact this whole parody thing is. I have written a few back when but never knew there were sites out here for this kind of thing. I was writing some for a local radio station back in March when I found this site looking for lyrics last May. So I'm assuming what I displayed would be the bridge to this song, correct? My very first parody was Modem Hayes that I submitted to a list server that put out a daily email back about 7 or 8 years ago. Then I wrote Beverly Hillbilly Gates shortly thereafter. I rewrote it again after W2K came out. Besides that Radio station and these two I haven't done much writing but always made up parodies to songs in my head since I was a kid.
Meriadoc - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
I always understood the bridge to be the part of the song that was neither the identically formed verses nor the chorus. (But I could be wrong). So yes, I was referring to the part that started: 'whoops, it turned on it's own and it ain't calling home'. :-)
Guy DiRito - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
When I listened to the song as I was planning the parody that part sounded to me like a modem speed dial because it was so fast and that was the intent in the lyrics. Kind of hard to do without sound. I wanted to give the impression that the technically challenged individual getting his lunch ate by this phone somehow dialed something that had generated about 50 key pad hits and then it autodialed to who knows where and this was what he was hearing. Oh, well I could have put in something like (sound of speed dial) but that seemed tacky to me. :/

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