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Song Parodies -> "Losers, Chokes & Flops"

Original Song Title:

"Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Cher

Parody Song Title:

"Losers, Chokes & Flops"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

This song was a whole lot funnier when I wrote it in 2000, because the Cleveland Indians were still contenders then. World Champions in 1920 and 1948, Pennant winners in 1954 (and near-misses in 1908, 1921, 1923, 1926, 1940, 1951, 1952, 1953, 1955 and 1959), then they didn't even get into another Pennant race until 1994. Won the Pennant in 1995 but lost the World Series to the Braves, a Pennant in 1997 but lost to the Marlins, lost some nasty Playoffs to the Yankees, Red Sox and Mariners, and they're still waiting...
I was born in Ohio in the city by the lake.
Paying for my parents' geographic mistake.
Papa told me whatever he could.
Preachin' 'bout the old days
when the Indians really were mighty good.

"Losers, chokes and flops!"
We'd hear it from all the League towns!
They'd call us "Losers, chokes and flops!"
But every night the fans would come around
and lay their money down.

Moved from the lakefront into downtown.
That's when the team started turning around.
Dad was 60, I was 31.
Rode it to Atlanta, had to be proud of how much we had done.

"Losers, chokes and flops!"
We'd hear it from all the League towns!
They'd call us "Losers, chokes and flops!"
But every night the fans would come around
and lay their money down.

Thrilled the fans in the American League
with our homer-hittin', head-huntin' style.
Two years later, we're two outs from winning
the title we ain't seen for a while.
But Miami and New York still smile.

He was born in Ohio in the city by the lake.
Another generation's geographic mistake.
I told my son whatever I could.
This is the truthful gospel:
The Indians were champs, not just merely good.

"Losers, chokes and flops!"
We'd hear it from all the League towns!
They'd call us "Losers, chokes and flops!"
But every night the fans would come around
and lay their money down.

"Losers, chokes and flops!"
We'd hear it from all the League towns!
They'd call us "Losers, chokes and flops!"
But every night the fans would come around
and lay their money down.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Claude Prez - September 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Great job; loved "geographic mistake"
Wild Man - September 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Like I said , your sports parodies Rule! 555, Chalupas
John Jenkins - September 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Flawless, Michael. I, too, was born in Ohio, so we do have one thing in common.
Meriadoc - September 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Michael's a native Ohioan? :-0
Michael Pacholek - September 09, 2003 - Report this comment
No, Merry. As my man Billy Joel would say, "I'm not the guy in the song. I'm just using something called imagination." North Jersey born, Central Jersey raised, and Yankee Fan by choice. Damn good choice.
Michael Pacholek - September 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Not that I'm against Ohio, or even Cleveland, except when the Indians play the Yankees.
Michael Pacholek - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
At least this one about the Cleveland Indians still applies.

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