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Song Parodies -> "Funk Lady"

Original Song Title:

"Dark Lady"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Cher

Parody Song Title:

"Funk Lady"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

The fartin' queen in her latrine,
Was eating a can of those black pinto beans.
On her back seat were hashes,
Those brown marks made from the gas fumes out her bum.
Couldn't see through the ventin' gas,
I saw the flames, when she lit her ass.
She swallowed those beans down with her spoon,
Her farts got runny,
And that got started the fume.

Funk lady gassed her pants,
And with a candle by her bum.
Lit them off with a match-stick,
Each and every one.
Funk lady needs an air-wick,
'Cause her jock funk make you ralph.
She'd so have to agree,
If she smelled herself.

It smelled like charred old green pot pourri,
The rumble I heard,
Was Richter range of three.
Her guts churned up, made wide her crack,
Her cheeks were spread and the farts
Blew me back.
She spread her can, it was secretin' this goo,
That flatuous pulse nearly snapped my neck in two.
Hot fire ice, it burned my eyes like mace,
Turned my back, but forgot to cover up my face.

Funk lady took a stance,
And cleared her channel with her thumb,
Then donned some heavy plastic,
Then she pulled the plum.
Funk lady sprayed wet brick,
And it shot out through her valve.
It strained so hard to get free,
That she pooed herself.

I heard her groan, felt this awful dread,
It started deep and smelled like burnin' rubber tread.
Then I remember the strangest fume,
And how it smelled just before the big boom.
The gas reaked out her bottom it did pass,
Launchin' like fission when it reached a critical mass.
The next thing I heard was a deaf'ning roar,
Funk lady's silouette outlined the hole in the door.

Funk lady gassed her pants,
And with a candle by her bum.
Lit them off with a match-stick,
Each and every one.
Funk lady needs an air-wick,
'Cause her jock funk make you ralph.
She'd so have to agree,
If she smelled herself.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Gastly. And funny.
Johnny D - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy, your parodies defy all logic, common sense, and convention --- so many of your best parodies are the ones that "stink" the most!
Adagio - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I wanted to upchuck...and keep reading, 'cause you always come up with new ways to say something gross. :D 5's
Adagio - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny...don't you mean ones that "stink" the MOIST?? lol
Peregrin - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
A case of eating too many DiRitos perhaps? ;-p Good one
Guy - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
John - Thanks it was a real gas to write.

JD - I knew this one was going to stink when I finished the first chorus. - Thanks.

Pat - Upchuck? Yeah - why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it?

Pippin - Yeah, come to think of it I did eat about a case of doritos just before I worte this.

Thanks, thanks, thanks to all.
wayne - November 13, 2004 - Report this comment
F.Y.I you cant lighta candle with your bum.. But otherwise I must say you must ne infactuated with body exments ewww but it was ok .. must have a fart fetish ..

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