Song Parodies -> Ripped
| Original Song Title: | "If" |
| Original Performer: | Bread |
| Parody Song Title: | "Ripped" |
| Parody Written by: | Red Ant |
DKTOS? Listen to it here. Listed by AOL as the 9th wussiest song of all time ('Bread makes The Eagles look like Slayer'), I couldn't help but make fun of it. I actually like this song...
~intro~
If my sphincter launched a thousand turds
Then why can't I... launch you?
This turd just will not go
It's on thera-dio
If my eyes could cry a thousand tears
I'd shed them for this tune
If jelly were a glue
I'd stick the Bread to you!
And THEN.... my VOICE... is high up in this line
I sing... this one... two words... a time
If a man could be too wussy with his rhymes-
-I'd out-wuss you
I'd leave them all the same
To show you have no game!
If this song would stop careening,
crashing, crawling through my mind
I'd gladly call a truce
Don't drop another deuce
Or piece... by piece... I'll rip your Bread apart
And feed...
it to...
the pigeons...
ev...
ry...
day..............
If my sphincter launched a thousand turds
Then why can't I... launch you?
This turd just will not go
It's on thera-dio
If my eyes could cry a thousand tears
I'd shed them for this tune
If jelly were a glue
I'd stick the Bread to you!
And THEN.... my VOICE... is high up in this line
I sing... this one... two words... a time
If a man could be too wussy with his rhymes-
-I'd out-wuss you
I'd leave them all the same
To show you have no game!
If this song would stop careening,
crashing, crawling through my mind
I'd gladly call a truce
Don't drop another deuce
Or piece... by piece... I'll rip your Bread apart
And feed...
it to...
the pigeons...
ev...
ry...
day..............
copyright 2008+ Jack "Bread Rant" Fletcher
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User Comments Follow...
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At first I was worried that this one was going to be another sh*tty sh*t parody, but I have nothing against song satire, especially when the song is as bad as "If" and I think you're the first to parody this tune, so congrats on that account.
this band and this song in particular deserve this treatment...lol
Sappy songs inspire odes to flatulence -5's.
Baby I ah wancha, Baby I need yah. You're the shining light . . . I loved BREAD in their day; they were good.
Good song bashing..
Enjoyed, although have to say I'm with Lil Cup Cakes on the Bread issue!
I liked the pigeon finale.
Sorry Matt - But I did "Gif" on 12/03/03. I think the Ant did a better job than me though. Sorry Ant - didn't mean to speak at you in 3rd person. This is quite good. Really enjoyed the clever word play and thought behind it.
Very Good! This will please Jonathan S.!
Oh, I hate this OS, I HATE THIS OS. . .I mean, like I want to bang my head against the wall just hearing the opening line. . .it makes The Wreck of Edmund Fitzgerald seem like a masterpiece, and Desolation Row becomes tolerable. . .I'll listen to the Macarena on repeat for 24 hours over this. . .so thanks for trashing it. . .I know you are going to record this, please don't be upset if I don't want to hear it right away though. . .ouch that OS.. .555
Thanks Matt, Alvin, 2Eagle, LittleCupCakes, AFW, John J, Peregrin, Guy, Jason and Dave.
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This is view # 165
The Best of Bread album at Amazon.com
Anthology album at Amazon.com
Retrospective [2 CD SET] album at Amazon.com
Baby I'm-a Want You album at Amazon.com
Guitar Man album at Amazon.com
Bread album at Amazon.com
