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Song Parodies -> "Ripped"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

DKTOS? Listen to it here. Listed by AOL as the 9th wussiest song of all time ('Bread makes The Eagles look like Slayer'), I couldn't help but make fun of it. I actually like this song...

If my sphincter launched a thousand turds
Then why can't I... launch you?
This turd just will not go
It's on thera-dio

If my eyes could cry a thousand tears
I'd shed them for this tune
If jelly were a glue
I'd stick the Bread to you!

And THEN.... my VOICE... is high up in this line
I sing... this one... two words... a time

If a man could be too wussy with his rhymes-
-I'd out-wuss you
I'd leave them all the same
To show you have no game!

If this song would stop careening,
crashing, crawling through my mind
I'd gladly call a truce
Don't drop another deuce

Or piece... by piece... I'll rip your Bread apart
And feed...
it to...
the pigeons...
copyright 2008+ Jack "Bread Rant" Fletcher

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   18

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - February 04, 2008 - Report this comment
At first I was worried that this one was going to be another sh*tty sh*t parody, but I have nothing against song satire, especially when the song is as bad as "If" and I think you're the first to parody this tune, so congrats on that account.
alvin - February 04, 2008 - Report this comment
this band and this song in particular deserve this
2Eagle - February 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Sappy songs inspire odes to flatulence -5's.
LittleCupCakes - February 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Baby I ah wancha, Baby I need yah. You're the shining light . . . I loved BREAD in their day; they were good.
AFW - February 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Good song bashing..
Peregrin - February 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Enjoyed, although have to say I'm with Lil Cup Cakes on the Bread issue!
John Jenkins - February 04, 2008 - Report this comment
I liked the pigeon finale.
Guy - February 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Sorry Matt - But I did "Gif" on 12/03/03. I think the Ant did a better job than me though. Sorry Ant - didn't mean to speak at you in 3rd person. This is quite good. Really enjoyed the clever word play and thought behind it.
Jason - February 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Very Good! This will please Jonathan S.!
Below Average Dave ( - February 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Oh, I hate this OS, I HATE THIS OS. . .I mean, like I want to bang my head against the wall just hearing the opening line. . .it makes The Wreck of Edmund Fitzgerald seem like a masterpiece, and Desolation Row becomes tolerable. . .I'll listen to the Macarena on repeat for 24 hours over this. . .so thanks for trashing it. . .I know you are going to record this, please don't be upset if I don't want to hear it right away though. . .ouch that OS.. .555
Red Ant - February 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks Matt, Alvin, 2Eagle, LittleCupCakes, AFW, John J, Peregrin, Guy, Jason and Dave.
Agrimorfee - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
"Cu-rap of the 70s!!!" Thanks for the Bread crumbs. :)
Mark Scotti - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) well dealt...
Guy - September 30, 2009 - Report this comment

Jack - I commented and voted a while back but I re-read this and I am amazed on just how great a job yuo did on this. This is Weird Al class parody. I somehow missed the "Bread" inserted in the parody the first time I read it. Very clever!

Dropped out a big deuce
Another floater in the tank... =;-)

Whoops, wrong OS.
DJ Blaze - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Intolerable OSes? Awesome job here! 555
Matthias - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Worst song ever created... I do like Bread's "Baby I'm-A Want You" but this song was just AWFUL!
Below Average Dave - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Why must you torture me. . .dang this OS is even worse now than it was the first time I heard it. . .
bobpiecheese - October 02, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5) Has there ever been a parody by Red Ant that rips on the song it's parodying that ISN'T totally awesome? Didn't think so. 555!
Leo Keough - October 02, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC5(QR) Very humorous take on the OS and the group singing it!...Nice pacing, rhyming and subs!!...555!!!
Stuart McArthur - October 02, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) brilliant pacing Jack, and quite funny, and your trademark turning the song on itself - 555
Melanie Lee - October 04, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Alternately outrageous, nonsensical, self-reflexive (or just reflexive? Self-reflexive might be redundant), and most of all, HILARIOUS! I laughed almost all throughout! 5-5-5, and it should be 5-6-5!

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