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Song Parodies -> "It's a Hard Steak"

Original Song Title:

"It's a Heartache"

Original Performer:

Bonnie Tyler

Parody Song Title:

"It's a Hard Steak"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

It's a hard steak
Harder than a disc brake
Overcooked, I'm i-rate
It's so hard, I frown

It's a cruel game
A zero kilojoule shame
Bland and burned it be-came
Cooked it like a clown

It's a hard steak
Timer setting mistake
Cooked for ho-urs - no break
It's such a let down

It ain't bright with blood - it's seared
Take a bite I'm sore affeared - like glue
A faint guise of meat o'erdone
As such can be pretended as food?

Oh, it's a hard steak
Wish instead, I'd hotcakes
Coupled with a clambake
Hot and golden brown

It's no-chew bane
Knifing won't diffuse grain
Tantamount to glass pane
Reeling - overbrowned

It's benighted, rough and sere
Molars grind in vain to tear and chew
I can't slice - I need a gun!
No juices are appending this food

Oh, it's a charred steak
Beefy I can't par-take
Stuff it - I'll have corn flakes
Jett'son this Mad Cow...

It's no drool claim
Branding iron stood reign
Gleely on this chow

It's a hard steak
Toughy to mas-TI-cate
It's the worst in town

It's a cruel shame

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   12
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User Comments

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John Barry - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Vegan motivation.
alvin rhodes - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
you said "masticate" heh heh heh
Johnny D - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
You had me at "kilojoule" !
carol - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
hope these three $5's will get you a fresh correctly cooked steak.
Paulie - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm very tempted to say 'well done'... ...but I'd better not! Excellent stuff, nonetheless...
Michael Pacholek - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
It's not rare when Merry & Pippin's entries into this medium are well done. (With apologies to the memory of Fred Allen.)
John Jenkins - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
This parody is USDA prime.
Larry Hensley - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Well cooked parody.
Royce Miller - February 08, 2006 - Report this comment
interesting parody; I was thinking about this original song very recently
Tommy Turtle - February 08, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL funny and wordsmithing after my own heart... I'm pretty new here but do believe few other parodies have used not only "kilojoule" but also "sere"... Throwing in a regionalism such as "afeared" is a cute contrast in vocabulary... Gess if it had been venison, you could complain that the cook Sears your Roebuck. 555
mandamoo - February 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Cooked to perfection as always :)
Peregrin - February 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Thank you all :) Johnny, Tommy, glad you picked it up, we like to put a bit of something in for everyone :)

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