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Song Parodies -> "Bangin' Paris Hilton"

Original Song Title:

"Takin' Care of Business"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bachman-Turner Overdrive

Parody Song Title:

"Bangin' Paris Hilton"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

You wake up in the back seat
Of a junkyard taxi
Wondering why your memory's so mooshy
You're in someone else's Speedo
And you smell like glue and Cheetos
"Tinkerbell" tattooed on your tushie

And as the coke clouds clear
And your pupils reappear
There's flashbacks of a blondorexic girl
Just a stupid spoiled whore
Poundin' shots at "54"
And soon it all makes sense and you hurl

'Cause you've been
Bangin' Paris Hilton - Every day!
Bangin' Paris Hilton - Every way!
You've been
Bangin' Paris Hilton - Are you high?
Bangin' Paris Hilton - You're prob'ly gonna die
(Real soon)

If her thingy gets itchy
She'll accuse Nicole Richie
Or blame attention deficit disorder
But you'll get the night to swing
With booze and blow and bling
And don't forget your video recorder

While you wait till she puts out
You'll have lots to talk about
Like her hair and makeup and nails
And despite her worldwide fame
Genius for-gets her name
That's why they put it on the hotels

Where you've been
Bangin' Paris Hilton - Every day!
Bangin' Paris Hilton - Every way!
You've been
Bangin' Paris Hilton - And her mom!
Bangin' Paris Hilton - Invite some friends along

[Bangin' instrumental]

(Paris is)
(A roll model!)
(She can roll!)
(Model too!)
(Whoo!)

[Repeat a couple of positi-, er, verses]

We've all been
Bangin' Paris Hilton - Every day!
Bangin' Paris Hilton - Every way!
We've been
Bangin' Paris Hilton - 'Cause we're bored!
Bangin' Paris Hilton - She's all we could afford

[Repeat some more]

Bangin' Paris Hilton - Every day!
Bangin' Paris Hilton - Every way!
Bangin' Paris Hilton - Yes indeed!
Bangin' Paris Hilton - 'Cause we're sick of Tara Reid
(Whoo!)

[Repeat to exhaustion]

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 29

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   27
 27
 27
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arwen - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
The images in my mind are a little bit more vivid that I'd really prefer...at least this early in the morning. That said, "stupid, spoiled whore" sent me into fits of giggles that made up for it. The word 'whore' is second only to 'bastard' on my list of the funniest insult words around...=)

And...finally...ending it with Tara Reid was perfect...LOL...5s...
John Barry - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Fantastic! A five-star hotel-heiress parody.
alvin rhodes - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
a bang-up job...especialy liked the word "blondorexic"...5s plus
Dee Range - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Speak fer yerself, bubba...I ain't tarred of Tara Reid...in fact, would love to see her in a duet with Paris, if you know what I mean :-). Loved the Speedo/Cheeto verse, and the next, and the one after that...oh hell, loved it all. High 10's
Kristof Robertson - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Put these three words in the correct order. Barrel. Fish. Shooting.....but as always, you have made having a "ho-down" seem like such fun! 555
Michael Pacholek - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
The Paris Hilton, where the tabloid roaches check in but they don't check out. But not you, Spaff. You wouldn't let your parody-cranking mind be clouded by said experience. After all, last I saw, I believe, you were bonkin' Eva Longoria?
Bob Gomez - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
And that's a 555-star hotel you're checkin' into.
Johnny D - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Gotta agree with Arwen about the vividness of the images! YIKES! Take 555 mg of Cipro --- if it's good enough for Anthrax, it's good enough for Paristhrax!
Johnny D - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Gotta agree, too, with Michael's "roach motel" metaphor!

Gotta agree, too, with alvin's praise of the neologism "blondorexic" !

Awww heck, who am I kidding? Gotta agree with EVERYBODY ELSE HERE --- what THEY all already said, Spaff --- freakin' genius stuff here, Mighty One!
Rick C - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, alright, I agree with everyone about everything. Nice touch, Spaff. 555
Red Ant - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
I love this parody (you got the "stupid spoiled whore" line from South Park, Am I Right?) but wouldn't do Paris with someone elses tool. Besides, there is that matter of the pineapple still up there.Too many other great bits to quote =)

Spaff, please check out my entry today if you get the time.
PMS - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
I give this Paris Hilton song five stars
Tim Mayfield - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
My only fav line was 'That's why they put it on the hotels' Sorry, fish in a barrel and all that... 5's
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Her reputation cost me five bucks at Video Ezy, "A Werewolf in Paris" was quite the misnomer... brilliant job, Spaff. That's hot.
Kat - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Why is there no mention of Nikki ?
carol - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
high 5's on this one.
stuart mcarthur - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
yeah, although it's not as easy to bang her as it seems - you do have to get that pineapple out first (prickly little buggers) (nod to South Park) - great lines and brilliant idea, Spaff - 555
Spaff.com - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, John & Bob & Rick & PMS & carol!

Arwen & Red Ant & Stuart: I'm partial to the "stupid spoiled whore" line myself. It was indeed stolen (er, BORROWED - I promise to return it) from that South Park episode where Paris Hilton has a chain of retail outlets called, of course, Stupid Spoiled Whore.

Dee: I watched part of "Taradise" a while back - she was touring Sardinia. After a few minutes I was yelling at the screen - ENOUGH OF TARA FREAKING REID. I WANT TO SEE MORE OF ITALY! It didn't help.

alvin and Johnny D: I initially had that as "narcissistic," but thought it kinda sucked. Thanks for supporting my decision to change it. Now back to looking in the mirror I go.

Kristof and Tim: I hear ya. Odysseus hasn't been getting much tabloid TV coverage recently, though, so I thought that this week I'd fish a little closer to home.

Michaelopedia: Roaches indeed. And good catch on the Eva thing. Note that in proper English, one "bonks" Eva Longoria, whereas one "bangs" Paris Hilton. (Actually, more than one, in the latter case.)

Ralphing Luke: "A Werewolf in Paris" - heh heh. But over here it's called "An AMERICAN Werewolf in Paris" - are you Aussies dissing us? You think you're so special with your roos and your Ayers Rock (er, Uluru) and your damn Vegemite...

Kat: I happen to be in a deep, meaningful relationship with a photo of Nicky Hilton, so I refuse to say anything degrading about that hot piece of ass.
Peter Andersson - October 08, 2005 - Report this comment
The idea here makes me wanna pick up on my own idea for this subject, but the quality here makes me wanna forget it since it wouldn't be half as good. :-)
Spaff.com - November 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Do it, Peter. There's plenty of Paris Hilton to go around.
Jack Wilson - November 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job! 555!
Silver Power - December 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Lol, I loved the roll model part. 5, 5, 5.
Eric Andrews - January 04, 2006 - Report this comment
If you want to riff on Paris Hilton some more, try your hand at Murray Head's "One Night In Bangkok" from the musical CHESS. Title suggestions: "One Night In Paris" or "My Night In Paris", the title of the famous sex tape.
Spaff.com - April 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Belated thanx, Local Celebrity & Spindler Power.
Eric: Excellent idea. Write it!
Eric Andrews - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
I wish I could Spaff.com, but I'm definitely no songwriter.
BeTHaNY - May 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Too bad we can't rate any higher than 5. I would give it a 10, this parody made my day. lol. You rock Spaff.com!
Spaff.com - July 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Eric: You aren't until you write one. Then you are.

BeTHaNY: Thanks! I'm glad I could help.
HERE'S ROBERT LUND'S RECORDING - May 16, 2008 - Report this comment
http://www.spaff.com/poesy/bangin.html
UnKnownVotress - May 16, 2008 - Report this comment
This is nasty, . . . . all be it zany, whacky & Wild ! CABO-ONE award for sure, Sir. !!
Jack Wilson - May 26, 2008 - Report this comment
LOVE the recording, Robert's tatest recordings have all been HILARIOUS and each one beats the other, theyre all that way though
Jack Wilson - June 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Havent had this experience yet, but to those who have heard the recording and tend to get songs in their head and sing it to themselves at random times, Id advise singing this one in a private area
Spaff.com - June 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanx, UnKnownVotress & Jackie & Jackie! I agree that Robert Lund did a bittchin' job with this one. (Pun intended.) And, yeah, it's probably not a good idea to sing this one out loud as you're walking into church.
white trash - December 05, 2009 - Report this comment
paris hilton, kate beckinsale, sarah michelle cellar, and alyson hannigan in a fatal four way who would win
Spaff.com - December 13, 2009 - Report this comment
The viewer.

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