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Song Parodies -> "Where's My Health Care Plan?"

Original Song Title:

"Where Do I Begin? (Theme From 'Love Story')"

Original Performer:

Andy Williams

Parody Song Title:

"Where's My Health Care Plan?"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Where's my health care plan?
Been promised to me since Barack's campaign began
A major plank of rotted wood on which he ran
Funded by magic, or by coins tossed in tin can
When does it start?

Screw my HMO!
Assigned an orthopod to pregnant wife of mine [1]
For monthly fee, you get to stand each month in line
Barack, The Orator made *his* plan sound so fine
When does it start?

It breaks my heart! The secret wrangling:
Pelosi's throngs. Reid's wild imaginings
Are so much guff
They earn rebuff

On ev'ry TV show
They argue, only;
My tax, impound
In rear, they bone me
A reach-around job
It's all hot air

When will this be passed?
Whatever measure, hear our howls as we pay
The ceiling (deficit) was raised again today
Who, then, will feed us as our paychecks slip away?
Kiss derrière!

Filibuster: last?
They lost majority; with Scott Brown: 41
Just pass the cost on to my daughter and grandson
Which doctor? Witch? (The public option: second one) [2]
Go screw O-Care!

[1] "orthopod" -- common term within the profession for an orthopedic (bone and joint) specialist or surgeon.

[2] Diagnosis:
He said, "Sue me? You? Ha Ha!"
This thang: pocket-wallet, big bang!

© 2010 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - February 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Really fitting song to do this to, since she died of cancer at the end of the film...
2Eagle - February 04, 2010 - Report this comment
I don't agree with your ppoint of view, but it's a good parody.
Timmy1k - February 04, 2010 - Report this comment
It was clever of O to drop the responsibility for health care on Reid and Pelosi, since it is the bigeest caus eof his numbers dropping.
Patrick - February 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Outstanding parody, once again. Liked the line about "witch" doctor. If you need a diagnostic scan, I guess you can always go to the airport.
Phil Nelson - February 04, 2010 - Report this comment
well written
Fiddlegirl - February 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, all!

Mark Scotti: Executive Power means never having to say you're sorry... ;)

2Eagle: But you're "fair and balanced", and take the parody on its own merits-- a trait we like in people. :D

T1K: An unqualified upstart doesn't get to be president without a shrewd knowledge of politics... [ It strikes me that the letter O is all outward appearance, with nothing on the inside but air.]

Patrick: LOL! The "witch doctor" line was probably my favorite, too... from the fertile mind of the turtle. (He *is* clever, isn't he?) ;)

@ TT: We've been Unobombed! :D
Tommy Turtle - February 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Truly astute observation and amazing analogy! This whole thing is growing like a cancer, as is the budget deficit... thanks for v/c! (LOL @ FG!)

2Eagle: I *think* that answers the question I asked you at our other post today, before seeing this one ("No"), but, uh, what did you vote -- or abstain? .... AFW leads the pack in admitting that he disagrees politically with a parody but will 5 it on its technical merits. Appreciate the frankness.

Timmy1k and FG: "O" for "Orator", as in the parody... Following 2Eagle's lead, I'll freely admit - heck, proclaim -- that Obama is the best Presidential orator of this century!
Oh, wait, that's not saying much, is it?.. Truth: One of the best, if not the best, ever. In TT's non-partisan evaluation of the Presidents (i. e. regardless of whether he agreed with them), the best were Lincoln, FDR, Reagan, and Clinton. Why, Clinton could blow you away! ..... oh, yeah, thanks for v/c ..... ;-) (TT the Orator and Oh-Writer gets carried away...)

Patrick: LOL^2! Maybe *that's* where the "savings" come from!?! .. and if you have hemorrhoids, they'll ream them out for you during that full-body strip-search.... thanks for v/c!

Phil Nelson: A man of few words (unlike moi), but kind ones, for which, many thanks. :)

Unabomber: The *ultimate* compliment! Thank you! ... whew! For a while, we were scared that no one would think this parody was hard-hitting enough to p*ss someone off enough to get the coveted Unaward, so thanks for the political Oscar! .... hmmm... Off-Broadway has the Obie; perhaps that should be the AmIRight equivalent of the Oscar, except that "Obie" stands for "Obama". Cheers!
bArRaCk wHo's SaNe ObAmA - February 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Masterful skewering of your deserving target you two--Hey, wait! That would be me! Perfect word choices and excellent choice with that mournful OS... these fives aren't 'funded by magic' and they weren't borrowed--they're straight outta that Chicago Machine cash machine!
Tommy Turtle - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
bArRaCk wHo's SaNe ObAmA: Love what you've done with your name -- get that out to the press ASAP! (It'll distract them from all the failures and broken promises.)

Glad the votes were paid for with real money, honestly stolen from the taxpayers -- but if it's from Chicago, you *do* know that you can vote four or five times, right? ... in fact, I think you're *supposed* to! Thanks for the first one!
Old Man Ribber - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Don't look for this on C-SPAN any time soon. BTW, 2Eagle isn't the unobomber. He has too much class. ;D
TT - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber: LOL! ... and I never really thought so, but there wasn't a statement of vote accompanying the negative comment, so as said, just asking.... Agree with you. .... and I'd *love* to see Andy Williams sing it to Congress! Thanks for v/c!
Christie Marie M - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
At least you're in good health when writing this song! Only time will tell when health care would be passed. Here's $555 for medical coverage!
Fiddlegirl - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Adding thanks to B. Who's Sane (hehehe); OMR, and CMM (the money may come in handy for the extra "roofies" we'll need...) ;)
Tommy Turtle - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M: When Hell freezes over ... OOPS! According to our post *today*, it did! ... need another cliché, LOL! Thanks for v/c/$!
Meriadoc - February 08, 2010 - Report this comment
And here I was trying to figure out what kind of eight-legged critter an 'orthopod' was... ;-)
Stunned Tommy Turtle - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Meriadoc! You're alive! You're here! You're --
You're our sole -nership-part's inspiration! (Righteous Bros. cringe)... so sorry you missed our tribute -- nay, homage -- to you and Pippin. It's (pssst -- at the very end, so you don't have to read the whole thing, but who knows, you might like it) here:

I think you meant "octopod"; an "orthopod" is where the peas are aligned in a straight line. Or the pea-brains, in our cases. Thanks for v/c, and sooo nice to meet you! @ Fiddlegirl: May I introduce Ms. Meriadoc, of Merry and Pippin, as per the above tribute, *our* inspiration as a duo, and a long-missing great righter in her own rite! It's like having Homer or Dante or Shakespeare come back and v/c!

(psst, Merry -- we've parodied all three of those within the last couple of months; Shakespeare, several times. You know where to find them if interested. ... And glad you got your web site fixed ... you *did* get my message about the false alarms, broken links, etc.?)
Equally Stunned (and Honored) Fiddlegirl - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Hello, Meriadoc!!! I am very pleased to make your acquaintance at long last. :) TT is quite right-- we do owe much to you and Pippin for our inspiration... and now look forward to new writes! Cheers to you. :)

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