Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "A Whore With No Name"

Original Song Title:

"A Horse With No Name"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"A Whore With No Name"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

For a Youtube look and listen to "A Horse With No Name" by America click HERE

Saw a skirt that made me horny,
I was lookin' for a rent-a-wife.
I want pants not words that rocks off thing,
When I hand her bills she brings.
I just want to get me a buy of some fuzz,
Just a guy, I'm not proud.
Some heat what's hot and some sound firm thigh,
Would she care to fool around?

I just want some dessert off a whore with no name,
It be good to be out with a dame.
Just want dessert, I won't remember her name,
'Cause you get your fun and the whore don't complain.

Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah ah oh oh ah
Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah oh oh oo ah

There's a few ways to effect some fun.
Some skin or give at turns head.
There's the three way but it costs a ton,
And you'll need yourself a bigger bed.
"That's Amore" I'm told in Italian gets hos,
Get me had my pencil some lead.

For me I've been due some pleasure with a whore of hot flame,
I'll melt wood in and out for some strange.
I'm so pestered and evil tempered; so lame,
And their ain't no fun 'til some business exchange.

Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah ah oh oh ah
Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah oh oh oo ah

I don't mind pay, you get no whores for free,
'Cause their effort is done for fee.
No romance, no words, want rock something,
Want a m'am no frills, no strings.
A notion for some dessert where a wife is not found,
It's so perfect for guys in lust.
I like it gritty, take my joy underground,
Find a woman that don't get fussed.

So she was paid for her efforts well rehearsed was her game,
It felt good to go get bent again.
She was fervent, but don't remember her name,
'Cause there ain't no fun like the time that's just been.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   20

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stan Hall - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Of course, when your wife reads this you'll be divorced with no dame. :-)
alvin - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
hilarious..especially liked the three way verse
Johnny D - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
I laughed out loud! Super syllable-matching as always!
UnKnownVO - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
mostly unKnightly. . . . Pirate Guy!! careful sir, you may be walking the plank !
Jason - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
I echo Johnny Ds comment.
John Barry - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
What Johnny D said.
Meriadoc - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Such lacivious-ness! :-D
Peregrin - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Funny stuff :) What JD AND Stan said ha ha
John Jenkins - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
This could be the Eliot Spitzer's theme song, but it is generic enough to be available for the next scandal and the next scandal... Very clever, Guy.
SW - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Hahahaha! LOL! Now thats funny stuff!
adagio - April 07, 2008 - Report this comment
That was excellent a the pacing made it extra funny! 5's
Jason - May 11, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still great and erm... great!
Matthias - May 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Funny idea, but your grammar left me a bit puzzled. I know I'm the last one who should be talking about grammar, but phrases like, "That rocks off thing", "Get me a buy", and "Give at turns head" were a bit off in my opinion. You have some great ideas Guy, and I don't want you to get pissed off and yell at me again, but you just need to work on grammar just like me.
Guy - May 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Matt - I write that way on purpose - some comes from the Pennsylvania Dutch influence who were around the area where I grew up and the rest I picked up from living all over the US and some overseas. They do make sense even though the grammar is off if you read them the way they were meant. My sppeech is vastly different from how I write, like at work and my parody wriging is completely different from who I write at work. Now my spelling - that is a whole different matter. Thanks for your comments. Thank flaming I showed that day was a one time thing. Take ease when you want to comment, Matt. I will hold my pen and not displace anger again. I have learned my lesson. Thanks for the constructive criticism.
McKludge - May 12, 2008 - Report this comment
I grew up in Penn. Dutch area myself, and I can attest to the odd grammar used by them. Like Yoda they speak, understand them you may not. It's a hybrid of English and German, kind of like Spanglish is a hybrid.
littleMilCakes - May 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Guy, you are correct about regional grammar preferences! Milwaukee definitely has some real classics: " . . . They futz around". . . was one that my GrandMutter strongly disliked!
Red Ant - May 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Very well done Guy: quite funny. Re: grammar, I have no problem with yours, here. Besides, TOS delivers one of the most grammatically awful lines in songwriting history: "'cause there ain't no one for ta give ya no pain". Massive improvement over the original.
Guy - May 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Friends & fellow writers - I forgot to mention that I grew up speaking Pittsburgese and that is almost another dialect altogether from the American mainstream speak. Pittsburghers have words like nebby, yins and phrases like red up the room, to name a few. Nebby means nosey, yins is a form of y'all and red up the room means to clean up the room. Live with me and humor my quaint lyrics please. =;-) I got my Pa. Dutch from a farmer I worked fro from early teens through the end of high school. I'm glad there are yins guys like McKludge out dere dat can attest to the grammatical nuances of the region. Thanks all!
Max Power - May 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Peter Andersson - May 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Your pacing is excellent as always, a hard wood 5 there. Not so funny IMHO, but because of how pacing and overall (I'll get to that) comes together it's still a solid 4 in that inbetween area. And overall, well, the tone of the original goes (here we go again) excellent with the new words, so it was a joyfull ride all the way through until the dimes (or should that be dames) ran out. The whole parody goes as straight as the narrator to the short list. :-)
Agrimorfee - May 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(sotm) I echo Matthias' it 'poetic license'. I don't hold that against the parody, though...I was kind of picturing perhaps one of your Mafioso boys from your other parodies trying to put pen to paper about his hobby. Interesting to say the least.
Phil Alexander - May 28, 2008 - Report this comment
This is based on experience, hey, Guy?

..only joking ;-)
Kristof Robertson - May 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm in kinda two minds about this, Guy...I actually like a bit of screwed up grammar once in a while, but the piece didn't make me laugh like I thought it would. Still, a solid 545 from me.
p.s. I would've gone for "I'm licking (or eating) some dessert off a whore with no name"...better visual! :-)
bobpiecheese - May 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The grammar didn't even register here - the topic by itself isn't my thing. Nothing much left to say now.
Below Average Dave - May 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well--the idea is solid, but some of the word choices baffled me a bit. I don't think the grammar was terrible, but the choice of wording did throw me off a tad. I like the flame, lame, exchange, strange rhyming, that was great, and the overall idea was very good--could just use some polishing, particularly in the first paragraph (that's where some if it threw me off), but it gets better as it goes along.
Mikey Squirrel - May 31, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM- Ah, the fun you can have with whores. Good stuff, Guy.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1832