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Song Parodies -> "Mister Olden Swear"

Original Song Title:

"Sister Golden Hair"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

America

Parody Song Title:

"Mister Olden Swear"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

Flibbertigibbet!!
Well, I try to curb my trash mouth, but I get so dang incensed
That I blow my top and lash out; I ain't sittin' on no fence
If you cut me up in traffic, there's a tirade on the way
Lots of "Jumpin' Joe Jehosaphat"s I'll say.

I've a fearsome reputationMister Olden Swear, 'tis I
I'm adept at confrontationone "dangnabit" makes 'em cry
I'm a total cad and blackguard, and by heck I'll say it loud
Well, geewillickers; I'm cranky and I'm proud!

When I'm angry, it's "Oh, fiddle!"
And "goshdarnit", yessiree!
I make nuns and grannies giggle
With my wild profanity
And you won't subdue me
I'm mad; so sue me
My answer's "phooey!"

By my troth, I'm near exploding; Mister Olden Swear, 'tis I
Junior jackanapes I'm goading; I'm a curmudgeonly guy
If I thump a thumb with hammer, it's a pox upon the world
But I'd never be this filthy near a girl!

When I'm angry, it's "Oh, fiddle!"
And "goshdarnit", yessiree!
Been this way since I was little
It's what my pa taught to me
And you cannot stymie
My language grimy
My answer's "blimey"

Oooh, oddsbodkins. Oooh, oddsbodkins. Oooh, oddsbodkins.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   22
 22
 22
 

User Comments

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Arwen - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh Kristof...you had me from "Jumpin' Joe Jehosaphat..." and it only got better and better. THIS IS FABULOUS!!!
Adagio - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Heehee! I really liked this one...the way you worked in all those "sear" words. :D 5's
alvin rhodes - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
jiminy christmas, that was spiffy...5s
Rick C - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Leapin' Lizards, Sandy! I'm givin' ya effin fives!
Paul Robinson - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Great Caesar's Ghost, Gorsh, Golly Geez...& Jiminy Frickin' Crickett, too...I'm really rather peeved that I didn't think of this first. 5's ~ ~ ~
Red Ant - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Well you earned the 5s on this Kristof, excellent as usual.
PMS - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Golly darn gee whiz bang it to heck! That was a corker! Loved "Junior jackanapes"
AFW - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
I use a lot of those terms, so maybe we're "Cussins"....Funny profanity here, Kristof...
Stuart McArthur - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
ROFLMAO! - the whole idea is hilarious, Kristof, and that's before you started with your jehosaphats (and where did you source the spelling btw?) and your oddsbodkins - and yes, that's how we see those old codgers alright - grumpy but harmless - 555
Kristof Robertson - June 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks people! Arwen: aww shucks!......Adagio: Cheers m'dear!.......Alvin: Boy howdy; thanks!......Rick: Effin? a quarter in the swear box, for you, my son ;-)... Paul: I had the title in my head for months; had to bite the bullet and write it.....Red Ant: Thank ye kindly......PMS: Jackanapes is my word of the week!......AFW: "cussins"; LOL!.....Stu: I'm not entirely sure that I DID spell "Jehosaphat" correctly, it looked OK so I stuck with it; thanks!!
Silly Willie - June 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh fudge and bugger ! This is funnier than my version
Michael Pacholek - June 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Judas Priest... No, not Judas Priest, America!
jango - June 30, 2005 - Report this comment
This was a sincerely original idea, and you did a great job. I won't insert any pretend swears here; by the way real swears cost a dollar nowadays......not like in olden times.
Dumb Ass Kid - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Made me laugh... even though I didn't know the original song
Leo Jay - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Frickety-frackin' fantastic.
Red Ant - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Apparently my previous comment got over-edited here and the one I just typed did as well ( seriously ). Pretty gosh darn funny stuff here Kristof.
Arwen - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--I am still captivated by your geriatric vulgarity...=)
Mike (Mike Armstrong) - July 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - You had me chuckling harder than a nun, that's for sure
Peter Andersson - July 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Gosh! It's a bit scary to notice that you didn't PICK the even better parody "Possessed Canary, Mental Hen" for this round Kristof, how about you bottle some of that talent and sell it to the rest of us?
Agrimorfee - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(Agrimorfee) Well H. E Hockey STicks, that was a dadgum clever parody! 555.
Zerla - July 15, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM
Dee Range - July 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Good gravy, wil you stop with the profanity, PLEASE???? You will go straight to the devil will such lauguage, young man...if the devil ever stops laughing. Great job, Kristof
Dr. Bob - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
see, this is where im heading. reading your song made me reflect on my future. thanks. nice.
Jeff Reuben - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Not a bad thing to play second fiddle to this song. Nicely done!
Rick C - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still great!
Johnny D - July 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) ARRGGHH !! I wish I'd thought of this concept first !! Great job, KR !!
Tim Mayfield - July 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) What a smooth talker. 5's
Stuart McArthur - July 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(sotm) it's just so dang dashed funny! - what in tarnation does that KR scalliwag put on his cornflakes?
Spaff.com - July 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Jeepers, this is great! What was it Dee Range said a while back - "Ho hum, just another brilliant, hilarious parody from Kristof"? Great concept, many great lines - but my fave is "I'd never be this filthy near a girl." And I gotta tell ya, if you hadn't managed to squeeze this in at the last minute, my SOTM decision would be much less stressful.
Phil Alexander - July 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Dangnammit! What in tarnation do I make of this one?
Mikey Squirrel - July 31, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM.. Very funny, Kristof. I stiil know people who actually say curses like that. It's pretty dang hilarious to hear it used today. Well done. 555
2nz - August 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Heh heh, rated 'G' for 'old-man-bad-language'. Funny, funny stuff Kristof and very well-made. Also, excellent inclusion of so many gramps-isms and still keeping a great flow throughout.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Mass laughter, you darn-tootin' genius. Great concept and rhymed with the skill that we all have... for some obscure reason this reminded me of that old guy sitting on a porch in 'High Noon', his only line in the film being "Movin' mighty fast for a Sund'y!" 555

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