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Song Parodies -> "Those Hoagies of Grain"

Original Song Title:

"A Horse With No Name"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

America

Parody Song Title:

"Those Hoagies of Grain"

Parody Written by:

2nz

The Lyrics

I fought with myself for a while about whether to submit this, mostly because I didn't have an ending at the time and it wasn't too funny. Anyhow, hope you all are hungry.
On the first slice of bologna
I was spreading it with my knife
There were ham and cheese and mustard stains
There were sand-wiches of grain

The first thing I ate was tomato of course
And the meat, many pounds
The toast was hot, and the bread was rye
And the thing had pepper grounds

Before you have dessert, have a hoagie of grains
It tastes good and it's good for the brain
Before dessert, you can't have too many grains
'Cause the crumbs brush off and they never leave stains

Munch, munch, m-munch m-munch munch, munch m-munch, munch, munch
Munch, munch, m-munch m-munch munch, munch m-munch, munch, munch

After two bites of the hoagie's bun
A pickle poked out its head
After three bites there's an oil run
And my stomach still needs to be fed
Well the growls it made left my neighbors afraid
So I bit and munched on the bread

Before you gouge into dessert, have a hoagie of grains
It tastes good and I can-not refrain
Before dessert, you can't have too many grains
'Cause it's good for you so jump on the grain train

Munch, munch, munch, m-munch m-munch munch, munch m-munch, munch, munch
Munch, munch, munch, m-munch m-munch munch, munch m-munch, munch, munch

(Instrumental: Jelly beats from the Deli Meats w/ Three Cheez Pleaz on Bongos)

After nine bites, I sat so happily, there was a dessert in front of me
There were chips and cream and choc'late strings
And delicious sugar cane
The notion of a dessert with it's choc'laty bed
And a cherry that's high above
You can forget it, all the health stuff I said
'Cause if you're fat there's much more to love

Trust me
Go binge on the dessert, disregard all those grains
If it's sweet then you cannot abstain
Go have dessert, go get ice-creamy filled cranes
When the skinny shower, they fall down the drain

Munch, munch, munch, m-munch m-munch munch, munch m-munch, munch, munch
Munch, munch, munch, m-munch m-munch munch, munch m-munch, munch, munch
(More 'munch' lines, then fade)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
 3
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 5   8
 5
 8
 

User Comments

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Johnny D - September 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Seems to wrap up nicely to me, 2nz. Good job!
Dee Range - September 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Very Good. The last line is excellent!555
Paul Robinson - September 07, 2004 - Report this comment
2nz, your parody ambles and rambles on at least as well (actually, better) than the original song, which if you pay attention, ends up going almost exactly nowhere...just being in the desert on some dumb old flea-bag nag that nobody has bothered to name (or that dumb-ass who is sitting up there singing never bothered to find out), singing a pleasant sounding but mostly nonsensical bunch of junk - "it felt good to get out of the rain" Huh? "La-la-lah, la-la-la, lah..." That boring chorus part is just sitting there BEGGING for a wise-ass revision...
Serafina - September 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, 2nz. :)
Peregrin - September 07, 2004 - Report this comment
I read this eating, and it just made me hungrier ! Good one!

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