It stinks, just like gritty mashed old leather
I think my shoes, they would taste better

But you like Vegemite and you spread it wide
We Yanks are appalled and we roll our eyes
The sandwich spread you eat is all yeast-icated
It looks pretty dumb, but your needs get sated, yeah

Vegemite's like tire black
You made me try it for a snack
I say I'll get me a heart attack
It's unleavened gloop, darling cut me some slack...

I must warn you I'm gagging soon - I might ralph..
On toast slice I now taste yeast, and this feast's like tasting grout
And now you dare to cook me some on rye
That spore-aphile nearness I decry
Feed me turpentine glop - I undermine
This quirk o' yours that all must Aussify, Aussify

Vegemite, sickly whim
Vegemite, with Coke again
Vegemite, it hurts my tum
It's beastly sh*t spread on a bun

Say of Vegemite "give another try"
I need alcohol 'cus my meal's awry
This dinner custom should be eradicated
My poor skittish tongue, it won't masticate it, yeah

I was left with a tacky swoon in my mouth
My poor slice of bread's basted with the yeast I'm tasting now
But now I dare to look 'cus I espy
With marmalade on ears, you spread it nigh
Sayin' "Stem your whine, gobble 'em, don't be shy
And check it out, there's more - spread it on my thighs, make me sigh..."

Vegemite, warm from tin!
Vegemite, we'll poke it in!
Vegemite, I'll start to hum..
It's neat, I'll get, at shopping, some...

Vegemite - just lie right back
I'll spread it on that tasty crack
May be alright, as anatomy snack
So finely you tout meally aide-de-climax