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Song Parodies -> "Portaloo Bum Fret"

Original Song Title:

"Waterloo Sunset"

Original Performer:

The Kinks

Parody Song Title:

"Portaloo Bum Fret"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

This won't be to everyone's taste...was feeling in a kind of gross-out mood today...about the perils of being caught short at a music festival. For those who might not know: Portaloo= chemical toilet, and khazi is a euphemism for the can.
Dirty old khazi at the pop concert
Making me gasp and heave
The seat is real damp, smells like an old tramp
But I need fast relief
I must go, got no choice
I'm experiencing Portaloo bum fret
I am in agony

Sunny day, I ate a kebab watching J-Lo
On chili, chili I sure did dine
Portaloo bum fret time!

Stood in a long queue, portaloo patience
Clenching my sphincter tight
My tum starts to rumble, splashdown is close now
No time to be polite
And although I'm afraid
It's when I release my Portaloo bum jet
I'll be in paradise!

Sunny day, another kebab watching Avril
Some chili, chili a second time
Portaloo bum fret time!

Millions of flies are swarming like...flies 'round Portaloo: man, it reeks!
I stood in that long queue (I missed out on Jay-Z)
An S-bomb 'tween my cheeks
What the $&!*?? Tissue's gone!
I must overcome my Portaloo bum fret
To be in paradise...

Need a poo...bum's wet...fine!..
Need a poo...bum's wet...fine!
(repeat to fade)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stuart McArthur - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Portaloo bum jets and Portaloo bum frets - my God, Kristof! - and I used to like the OS - not very kind to J-Lo et al either - you bombed some targets here mate - loved it as always -555
Paul Robinson - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Kristof - DKTOS on the Kinks OS - maybe I just can't place the title with the tune??? But a fun read here, you jabbed some tempting targets, for sure.
John Barry - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
One of the cleverer titles I've seen--it really got me.
Johnny D - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Here are some fives to help wipe off what you-know-who priggishly smeared on this hilariously butt-wrenching parody.
Arwen - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm totally cool with toilet humor...but I don't know the original song...=(
alvin rhodes - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
you have taken my favorite kinks song and turned it into a song about pooping..i have no choice but to give you fives...nice job
Know 1 can hear you dream - November 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Millions of flies can't be wrong. Go you!
EmiLoca - November 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh Kristof, if only I KTOS...this was a great read! Your parodies of late have been, excellent...keep squeezing 'em out.
Poopie Longstocking - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Right! Brilliant ----- 5,5,5 !
Mr. Potty Mouth - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, PP Lungsmoking, get the hell off this site! We don't want to hear any stupid ass comments from you. So just shut the f*** up or we will hunt down your comments and remove them. After that, your IP will be banned for all eternity. :P

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