I plopped down in my easy chair and turned on Channel 2.
CBS with the Grammy 'cast, and the usual "P.U.!"
Eminem was comin' on, his attitude off the graph.
And he said, "Gimme that Grammy now, or I'll saw Moby in half!"

And then he grabbed him. (And then?)
He slapped him 'round. (And then?)
He flashed a middle finger! (And then? And then?)

A-a-and then along came Jones! Norah Jones!
Slow walkin' Jones, slow singin' Jones.
Along came Ravi's daughter Jones.

Commercial came on, so I got up to get myself a snack.
I hoped the next act wouldn't be that lousy Nickelback.
Complicated Kid Lavigne was onstage having fits.
And she said, "Gimme that Grammy, now, or I'll sing all of my hits!"

And then she stood there. (And then?)
She tightened her tie. (And then?)
She sang that song about the skater boy! (And then? And then?)

A-a-and then along came Jones! Norah Jones!
Slow walkin' Jones, slow singin' Jones.
Along came Ravi's daughter Jones.

(saxophone solo, by the immortal King Curtis in the original)

I got so bugged that I missed Springsteen, so I turned on another show.
But there was another lousy song and a crummy video.
Nelly looked down at J-Lo and said with an evil sneer,
"If you don't gimme that Grammy, I'll make it REALLY hot in herre!"

And then he grabbed her. (And then?)
Ben Affleck got up. (And then?)
Nelly showed him who the real daredevil is! (And then?)
Ja Rule started comin'! (And then? And then?)

A-a-and then along came Jones! Norah Jones!
Slow walkin' Jones, slow singin' Jones.
Along came Ravi's daughter Jones.
Along came Ravi's daughter Jones.
Along came Ravi's daughter Jones.