Born To Be Mild (The Allergy Song)

Pick up my inhalers
Puff 'em three or four times
Take my Claritin-D
It does wonders for my hives

Yeah, I got a brand new prescription
Called it in to the pharmacy
"Take five Prednazone a day and
Then taper to three"

I'm so damn allergic
Air and water's filtered
Step into the wind
And I'm wheezin' and my lungs hurt

Yeah, I gotta go take it easy
Take a whirlpool and rub Ben-Gay
I avoid allergenic foods and
Exposure to hay

Life is cruel, nature's vile
I was born, born to be mild
When the pollen flies
I whistle when I sigh.......

Born To Be Mild

Born To Be Mild

(Guitar solo)

I contracted asthma
Soon as I was born, yeah
Hate that cigarette smoke
So I moved to California

Now I got an organic toaster
Wash my clothes telepathically
Make love in an ox-ygen tent
Asexually

Life is cruel, nature's vile
I was born, born to be mild
So don't ask me why
I never wanna try......

Born To Be Mild

Born To Be Mild

(Guitar solo and out)