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Song Parodies -> "The Clowns of Science"

Original Song Title:

"The Sounds Of Silence"

Original Performer:

Simon and Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"The Clowns of Science"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

Hello quarkness my old friend,
I've come to study you again,
Because of fission greatly steeping,
Has my geiger count-er beeping,
And the fusion that has ranted
With its chain, still retains.
So say the clowns of science.

All the nights I work alone,
In my lab of twilight zone,
Beneath the halo of burning amps,
The room of copper, it is cold and cramped,
What I felt there was the blast of a freon sprite
That did ignite.
It stings these clowns of science.

And with this sacred might I read,
Ten thousand papers maybe more,
Papers talking for the seeking,
Papers steering and glist-en-ing,
Papers citing throngs of choices and I swear,
That not one err perturb, the rounds of ions,

Fools say math cult makes it so.
Science for the answers blow.
Yield the grants as I con-tin-ue,
Don't alarm if I don't break through,
But the nerds from science brain crops quell
With tech-no spells, and clowns of science.

And the feeble bowed and prayed,
To the science god they made.
Feeble tries groan every show,
Nirvana sells them; share the dough.
And just sign the checks paid from your profits taken from the subway tolls
and legislative halls.
Pay to the clowns of science.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kate - June 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Very good - I've heard this song only once, but I was able to match your parody to the fragment of a melody left in my head. When I thought 'clowns' I too it way too literally, though ...I thought you were going to write a parody about brilliant clowns...haha, it's funny to picture, actually....that was the extent of my creativity, of course. But very impressive, Guy.
Jeff Reuben - July 02, 2003 - Report this comment
This was very good. I'm just happy I knew what most of those terms meant!
Wild Man - July 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Sad but true!
royce miller - July 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Guy, this really is a great parody--is there really a thing called a freon sprite?
Guy DiRito - July 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks all, and Royce, it's possible that a sprite could be composed of freon, but I really needed a good rhyme here. LOL
Meriadoc - July 04, 2003 - Report this comment
I always wondered where scientists get the grant money to study the sex life of the tsetse fly....
Johnny D - October 19, 2003 - Report this comment
I've been looking through the archives on this site and enjoying the enormous creativity I've found here - and THIS gem is one of the classiest !! Guy, you scored on this one! Take it from me, an honest-to-goodness M.I.T. dropout - I was formerly Class of 1980, but I dropped out in 1978. Send in the Clowns of Science!
Adagio - October 19, 2003 - Report this comment
I missed this one too. Thanks Johnny for commenting and letting me read it. Tremendous job, Guy!!
Guy - October 20, 2003 - Report this comment
Thank you Johnny D. I really had fun writing this one.
Robert J. Pagliaro - October 22, 2003 - Report this comment
Also just saw this one - well written Guy.
Robbie G - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
That was a beautifully done parody. I now think that you are a legend to this website. 555
Michael Pacholek - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
This would explain how so many clowns can fit into a Volkswagen: Bending the laws of physics! (I won't tell Scotty if you don't.)

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