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Song Parodies -> "Al-ex-ander!"

Original Song Title:

"Hey Big Spender"

Original Performer:

Shirley Bassey

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

Historically, there have always been people who have too high opinions of their prizeworthiness

The minute you vanquished our troops
I could see that you were charismatic
a real go-getter
good-looking, loved your hair
say wouldn't you like some ouzo or a fetta eclaire
but let me get right to the point...
I don't peel my grapes for every Greek I see...


if you can con-quer
(duh d'darr – d'duh!)

Say wouldn't you like a ripe plum?
howzabout a few figs?
what's the thing with your MUM? You love her...
sure...but hell!
you CAME out there! ya wanna go back IN there as well?

The minute you re-sheathed your sword
I could see you were a sensitive feller, just
a good listener – I can tell!
and wouldn't you love
to listen to this mademoiselle

So let me get right to the point
Do you think that you could score a gal like me?




if you can con-quer
(duh dedarr – duduh!)

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   20

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Phil Alexander - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
So disappointing... to find out it was about A. the Great ;-) (who, just as an aside, wasn't Greek). But I loved the parody, especially the "feta eclaire"..mmm, cheesey :-)
John Barry - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Better than the movie. And shorter.
Stuart McArthur - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks Phil - Macedonian had too many syllables - thanks John
Kristof Robertson - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment cross-dressing, Macedonian-shagging SLUT!! :-) hehehe this was fab...555
Stuart McArthur - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Mr Robertson, I do believe you're trying to seduce me....
Stuart McArthur - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
also Phil, "charismatic, real go-getter, good-looking..." - you must have been well into it before you realised!! ;-)
Guy - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Haven't seen the movie but it looks like you covered the bases well on this one.
alvin rhodes - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
delightfully goofy
Phil Alexander - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, Stuart, the "loved your hair" bit made me realize: ain't nobody could love what's left on this head ;-)
Susanna Viljanen - March 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Mama, oo-o-o-ooo (an-jee-lee-na-joo-lee). Alexander the Great is a perfect example of a regent in desperate need of a good shrink.
John Jenkins - March 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Very well done, Stuart, particularly the peeled grapes and other food references. It is interesting to consider your sports parody contest entry about athletes who are washed up at thirty three and haven't accomplished all they wanted to. Alexander was dead at thirty-three.
Stuart McArthur - March 06, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks Guy, Alvin, Susanna, and John

thought the historical aspect might appeal to you Susanna :-)

John, you're right of course - the 33 aspect slipped completely past me - Alexander learned the truth at 33 - there was a greater force than he - that ole grim reaper
Guy - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-A) See above comments. Again, well done.
Melhi - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Great job!
Johnny D - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Clever use of punctuation for musical notation!
Phil Alexander - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
JJ - your comment makes me want to misquote Tom Lehrer: It's people like this who make you realize how little you've accomplished. When Alexander the Great was my age, he'd been dead for five years. ;-)
EmiLoca - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC - I have no idea why, but this was absolutely HILARIOUS.

Maybe because it was.

That must be it.
Agrimorfee - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) I liked it, even though it was hard to figure out who Alexander was at first...and sadly, I don't know who is singing the song. (gotta bone up on my Greek history, methinks)
Adagio - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Great!! :D Loved it! 5's
Charlie Decker - March 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) 555...sure beat the movie!
MysteryGoat - March 27, 2005 - Report this comment
2Eagle - April 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, Big Spender - Alexander - cute! I was thinking Alexander Godunov - ooooooooooooh!
martha - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
love historical epics.. brilliant!
tomario - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
DECATHLON how did it feel writing from a ladies point of view ? made me laugh 555
Jeff Reuben - August 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow, missed this the first time around. Liked the ending...the video kinda scares me.
Josh 2 - August 17, 2006 - Report this comment
nice stuff, liked the way you didn't jsut use words of the same syllables but used longer and shorter words 5s
Matthias - August 20, 2006 - Report this comment
See I told you, you had one! Perhaps I know you better than you know yourself! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
Johnny D - August 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(Decathlon) See above ... hilarious & effective use of sound-effect-neologisms & punctuation.
bobpiecheese - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(Decathlon - Event 1) Interesting, especially with the words you made up for the musical bits...or whatever. I don't know. Well done!
Stuart McArthur - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
whoa! I'm slack on my thankyous...

thankyou Guy (where are you?) Melhi, JD, Phil and Emiloca (cool logic), Agri, adagio, Charlie and 2Eagle, martha, tomario, Jeff and Josh2, Matthias, JD (don't mind the odd neologism) and my fellow wombat, bobpiecheese :-)
Arwen - August 27, 2006 - Report this comment
DECATHLON...perfect pacing and VERY funny, Stuart! Great job!

As a side note...I once went out with a guy named Alexander, and I sang this to him in an effort to score some points. He never called me again...(but his mom slapped me across the face at the grocery store the following week)...guess the family's not big on figs... =(
Kristof Robertson - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(DEC1) see above. You're still a slut, McArthur, and this is still LOL funny. Love the "bar-RUM!"s...
leo jay - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Great parody! The bit about the MUM is fantastic.
Dylan Baranski - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Sorry, this isn't a James Bond movie theme. What were you thinking?

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